


Iocum Fati

by DarkAbyss



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: Developing Relationship, Family Issues, Friendship, M/M, Mentions of Violence, Mild Language, Protective Siblings, Self-Discovery, Sibling Bonding, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-26
Updated: 2014-09-09
Packaged: 2017-12-16 06:37:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 33,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/858994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkAbyss/pseuds/DarkAbyss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yukio wants to protect his brother until he is ready to battle Satan. He doesn't care if Rin can't return the feelings he has for him, he just wishes to be at his side when this will happen. Rin is worried about his brother's sake and doesn't want him to fight their father. Some day before their birthday Yukio goes on a mission and Rin has to deal with a strange misgiving. [Yukio x Rin, don't like, don't read, please!]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there!
> 
> This is my second story in English and I hope it will not be too bad ^^"
> 
> I've been falling in love with Yukio and Rin later on so I decided to write something about them. This fanfic is a reflection about their bound. It will involved romance so if you are against it please close the page! Thanks!
> 
> The title is Latin and it means " A Joke of the Fate" even if "iocum" means both "game" and "joke". I meant with that the fact that the twins have to "play" their match against Satan and at the same time they have to deal with the fact of being half demons and because of that they may never have a relly happy life even after winning their battle. This is the "bad joke" of destiny.
> 
> Every comment and review is welcome! I hope you will like it!
> 
> *Disclaimer*: I don't own Ao no Exorcist or its characters!

It had snowed copiously during the night and now, under a pale sky, the landscape spread white, kissed by the weak rays of the winter sun, whose faint light made ice crystals that coated it shine. The snow lay thick on the ground and muffled the sounds, creating a blanket of silence that seemed to envelop the still asleep world in a protective embrace, while the morning air was made even brisker by the bitter cold.

Leaning on the windowsill of the room he shared with his brother, Yukio admired spellbound the view, his mind lost in his childhood memories. During winter, he and Rin used to wake up at dawn just to have the time to throw themselves in that white sea . They spent whole hours rolling around on it, careless of the freezing weather, while Shiro was left to watch them with a grin, seated on the steps of the church. Their cheerful laughter rang out in the silence of the courtyard, greeting the light that rose from behind the leaden sky, while they were busy having a snowball fight or trying their hands at the construction of some strange snowman. Those had been good times, so happy and carefree, so _innocent_. Though the secret that surrounded his and his twin’s birth had come to his knowledge far too soon, at least until their foster father had been alive, he had felt that heavy awareness as something far, almost hypothetical, detached from reality he lived in, and, even while training to become an exorcist, he had managed to coexist with it without perceiving its real burden.

Then, suddenly, that illusory balance had broken and the events had degenerated without warning, forcing him to clash violently with the concreteness of his reality. Seeing the typical demonic features on Rin’s body and kneeling before the Shiro’s grave had turned what before had been only a vague and indefinite idea into hard facts and before his dumbfounded eyes. He had had no choice but to wearily acknowledge that hideous state of things. Time had passed since that awful day, but, even if he had got through the initial state of shock, he still hadn’t managed to fully adapt to his new situation.

Yukio shifted with a sigh his gaze from the snowy landscape to the bed where his brother was lying still asleep, giving up those gloomy thoughts. He didn’t want to get lost in them again, not that day. The only thing he wanted at the moment was to spend a good day with his twin. A sad smile spread on his lips as he got up and went sit on his brother’s bed. In spite of everything, their story had a bright side: after the initial conflicts, he and Rin were now close to each other as they used to be in their childhood, and maybe even more, without secrets between them.

Sometimes, in moments of anger, Rin accused Yukio of not being able to understand him because he was the only one who had inherited Satan’s power and yelled that therefore Yukio had no right to blame him for his decisions or to make claims towards him, but eventually the fight was overcome and quickly forgotten with a hug or a smile. Yukio preferred not answering those accusations, even if he would have too often wanted to scream that he himself still remained a son of the Prince of demons, that it didn’t matter if he had the appearance of a human being because the feeling that one day his powers would awaken too constantly tormented him, that he also suffered because of their half blood nature but he didn’t show it not to cause further distress to his brother. He was sure that Rin knew how he felt and it was for this that they always make peace in the end. And then, even if he hated to discuss with his twin, those fights were for them both a chance to vent their frustrations and to share their mutual uneasiness. That nonstop war ended up to do nothing but making them closer to each other.

The young exorcist reached out a hand and gently stroked Rin’s ruffled hair, enjoying the feeling of softness to the touch. The other half demon let out an annoyed moan and sank his face into the pillow for a moment before looking up to his twin, still half asleep.

“Good morning, Nii-san,” the younger greeted with a smile, withdrawing his hand. “Did you have a good night?”

“Yeah, sort of,” he muttered, yawning and looking around the clock. “Yukio, what time is it?”

“About half past six, Nii-san. I didn’t mean to wake you up. I’m sorry,” the reply was. “If you want you can go back to sleep.”

“Six?! It’s damn early!” Rin groaned back to sink my face into the pillow with a snort. “What the hell are you doing awake at this hour?! You’re crazy! We don’t have lessons ‘cause there are school holidays and you wake up at dawn.”

“I had to finish a couple of reports for Mephisto by this afternoon, and so I had to get up. Later I’ll hand them in. You know that, with my work as an exorcist, I don’t just school to worry about,” Yukio explained gesturing towards the papers neatly stacked on the desk. “And then it snowed last night, Nii-san! The landscape is really beautiful and I didn’t want to miss the sunrise. I’ve always loved the snow.”

“Me too!” The half demon exclaimed, livening up a little and sitting down so he could see a glimpse of the candid landscape outside of the window. “We had a lot of fun when we were kids, didn’t we? We played until the cold got the better of us and the old man forced us to go back inside because we were shaking like leaves…” An almost a nostalgic smile opened on his face. “They were good times…You know what we could do? Since I’m awake and there’s no way I’m going back to sleep, we could go out to enjoy the snow!”

“I’d love to, Nii-san. It’s been a while since the last time we spent a day out together. And then Christmas and our birthdays are close, so it may be also a good opportunity to buy a gift for us,” the other agreed happily, standing up. “Go and take a shower. I’ll make breakfast.”

Rin nodded vigorously drawing the sheets away and putting his bare feet on the cold floor. “Yukio?” He called back. “What if we eat outside? Come on, there’s this place in the town centre where they make terrific brioches!” He suggested, his eyes sparkling at the thought of warm croissants. “Please!”

“As you wish, Nii-san. Then while I wait for you I’ll take the chance to review those documents. Take your time, we aren’t in a hurry for once,” Yukio smiled, shaking his head amused. Sometimes his brother acted like a child, but he couldn’t blame him. The fact that Rin managed to be so carefree despite their situation made him calmer in turn and more determined to protect his twin from everything and everyone. Those little moments gave him the strength to move forward and face reality, to fight to see every new smile on Rin’s lips and to get a normal life back for them both. He gently ruffled his brother’s hair, earning a dirty look, and then he went to sit at his desk, grabbing one of the sheets and immersing himself in reading.

Rin stared at his twin for a moment, then he shook his head and hastened to slip into the bathroom. His brother worked too hard. He was always carrying out this or that task, or away for a mission or busy filling a report about only-God-knew what. And, when it wasn’t his job as an exorcist to keep him busy, he was bent over his books, studying. Rin would have die in less than a week in his place, but Yukio seemed to enjoy burdening himself with commitments, as if his life depended on keeping himself constantly occupied. He never refused an assignment, unless he was already busy with something more important.

The older twin had wondered from time to time where Yukio found the energy to look after the endless queue of its commitments without drowning in them. One had to be real masochist to desire such a life, there was no other explanation. Moreover, not satisfied with that, Yukio also claimed that he had the duty to look after him almost 24/7, treating him as if he couldn’t be alone for more than few hours without getting in serious troubles. That was what he understood less and hated most of his twin’s craziness.

Rin slipped under hot water, scoffing in annoyance. It was true, he had often proved himself to be unreliable and impulsive, but he had also always acted for the good of the people he loved, Yukio before everyone else. That protective and almost distrustful attitude bothered him a lot, especially considering the fact that when they were kids _he_ was the one who used to comfort his twin and to defend him from the world. He couldn’t count the times he came home full of scratches and bruises after a fight to defend Yukio. He had never complained though and he had always endured the pain almost with pride because he knew that he was doing it for the person he cared the most in the world.

However, things had changed deeply and he didn’t like that swap of the roles at all. It gave him an anguished sense of frustration. Now Yukio was the one who worried and who always claimed to caretaker role, trying to manage all the problems that showed up by himself and to keep them away from Rin, even if it meant that he often risked to suffocate under their weight. Rin knew that his brother behaved that way because he loved him, but he couldn’t tolerate that someone was hurt because of him. In the end, _he_ was always the problem, he and his demonic nature.

He clenched his fists, raising his face under the hot stream of water. All the people around him always ended up paying a price too high and that they didn’t deserve just because they were stubborn about staying at his side, despite all the risks it entailed. His mother had died giving birth to him, Shiro had sacrificed his life to protect him from Satan and Yukio had first give his dreams up and then to his happiness too to continue their adoptive father’s mission. Seeing the burns on his brother’s skin, the same ones that he and his damned flames had caused him, made him feel bad more than anything else, perhaps even more than kneeling in front the late priest’s grave.

He let out a sigh, absently running a hand on the tiles of the shower. So many times he had tried to explain to that pig-head that he didn’t need protection, that he could look after himself. But Yukio had always refused to listen and continued to take all the responsibilities, even when it wasn’t needed. Rin hated him for that, as much as Yukio had to hate him because of his nature. Yet he couldn’t help feeling a comforting pleasure in seeing that in the world there was someone who cared so much about him. He couldn’t avoid craving his brother’s support almost desperately and he couldn’t describe his relief in knowing that he was always at his side. Because without him, although Rin would never admit it even to himself, he would be lost.

A soft knock interrupted his thoughts, bringing him back to reality. Rin pulled himself together, leant out from behind the sliding door of the shower. “Yeah?” He asked.

Yukio’s head appeared from the entrance of the bathroom. “I just wanted to know if everything was okay, Nii-san,” he said with a smirk. “The water has been flowing for half an hour…I thought you had fallen asleep in the shower.”

“You’re so fun!” The half demon mumbled shooting his twin a dirty look to hide his embarrassment. Half an hour? He had been so absorbed in his thoughts that he had lost track of time. “You told me to take it easy and I did! Besides, last night we went to bed late and you woke me at the crack of dawn, so you can’t expect me to be fully awake. I’m not a computer like you who need just go in standby for a couple of hours to be fully charged! And by the way, didn’t you have some work to do?”

“I’m done. If you were tired you could have stayed in bed, Nii-san. I told you, I didn’t want to wake you up,” the exorcist apologized raising his hands. “You don’t have to come out with me if you don’t want. Maybe you already had other plans for today … “

“No, no, it’s not that! I really want to spend the day with you,” the older twin quickly said, feeling uncomfortable. “It’s just…I was thinking and I haven’t realized I had spent so much time in the shower. Give me ten minutes and I’ll be out!”

Yukio smiled. “Don’t worry, Nii-san. I just wanted to make sure that you weren’t doing this against your will,” he explained looking away embarrassed. “I mean, now you’ve finally managed to make friends and everything else…It wouldn’t surprise me if you preferred to go out with them instead of me. Maybe you wanted to see Shiemi.”

Rin dropped his gaze in turn, feeling a little heat invading his cheeks. “I can see them another day, even Shiemi. And then we didn’t plan anything for today,” he assured slipping back under the water. That idiot never changed, he and his damned quirks. How can Yukio be genius and at the same time not realize that he enjoyed spending time with his brother?! “Stop being paranoid! I said I’m going to spend the day with you and this means I want to, Ok? Get out, so I can finish here. I’m starting to get hungry.”

“Thank you, Nii-san,” the younger twin murmured to himself. Then in a louder voice: “Then let’s do this. Since I’m done with the reports, I’m going to drop them to Mephisto’s office now, so you’ll have all the time to prepare yourself. Then we’ll go and have breakfast.”

His brother mumbled something that sounded a “Ok, but hurry up,” and Yukio exited the room after shooting one last glance at the opaque and clouded glass of the shower door. He was glad to hear those words from his brother’s the mouth. That kind of attitude was how Rin showed his affection. The eldest almost never made explicit declarations, he found them too embarrassing, but he could always make him understand his own way that he cared a lot about him.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair and heading out of the apartment, the documents tightly held to his chest. He had to hurry up so they could go out and enjoy their day together.


	2. Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everybody!
> 
> I'm back! Thanks to everybody who have read the first part!  
> Here is the second part of the story! I hope you'd like it! Let me know what you think, please!
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> *Note*: this story contains *yaoi*, don't like, don't read!!
> 
> *Disclaimer*: I don't own Ao no Exorcist or its characters!

About an hour and a half later the twins sat at a table in a corner of the bar Rin had mentioned, a steaming cup of hot chocolate and a croissant in front of each of them. Yukio had taken longer than he had expected to get back. Mephisto had realised he was in a hurry and so had done his best to delay him, forcing the young exorcist into a conversation about how his classes and his private life were going, all subjects that would have been totally uninteresting for the principal if they hadn’t been a nice way to keep the young exorcist from leaving the office. Moreover, just as he had believed that he had finally managed to get rid those senseless chitchat and that he was about to be dismissed, Amaimon had made his entrance into the room with a vaguely irritated air. So, Yukio had been forced to witness a quite heated argument about God-only-knew what between the two demons. He had tried his best not to listen to and had waited for Mephisto to remember that he was still there and to give him the permission to leave. However, the headmaster had remembered his presence only after good fifteen minutes when the green-haired demon had mumbled something about the fact that him standing there was disturbing the discussion.

“Gee, I can’t believe that! For once Amaimon has proven himself _useful,_ ” Rin had commented as they walked down into the street. “He usually does nothing but putting us in troubles.”

“True. But if he had waited five minutes before entering the office I’d have left much sooner!” Yukio had pointed out, shaking his head with exasperation.

In spite of everything it was still quite early and, because of the wintry weather, most people had preferred to wait before starting the last shopping for the forthcoming Christmas, so the two had walked along almost deserted streets, enjoying the crisp air and the show of the still fresh and intact snow that covered everything around them. The diner was still mostly empty when they had reached it and the bartender had welcomed them with a cheerful smile, letting them chose the place they liked the most and immediately taking their orders, promising that he would have brought them the best sweets.

“We should come here more often,” said Rin biting down his brioche. “This place is really awesome. And this is the best hot chocolate I’ve ever drunk!”

“You really have a sweet tooth, Nii-san,” Yukio chuckled stirring the hot drink. “If it were up to you, we’d go out to eat sweets at all hours.”

“Ah, you can’t appreciate true goodness!” The half-demon joked. “And it’s not true that I would spend all day eating! I’d avoid going to school and go out with my friends and have fun. And please, don’t start again with the story that education is important and so on. I know, but it’s such a _bore_. Even the exorcists course is most times! I think we have too much theory and too little practice. How can they expect that we learn how to face demons if they do nothing but stuffing our heads with theoretical notions?”

“Without theory you’d fight randomly against beings you don’t know, as you do all too often, Nii-san. And we’ve seen with what results. Knowing your enemy is essential to avoid mistakes that might be fatal,” the exorcist talked back, patiently. When his brother started with his non-senses he made him want to tear his hair out of exasperation. “When you’ll start practicing seriously with a group of expert exorcists you’ll understand _why_ we need the theory you hate so much. So you’d better start devoting yourself to your studies. Trust me, I’ve already been through it. “

“If you say so…But I don’t trust your opinion, after all you love studying, so you’re not unbiased,” the other muttered stubbornly, picking up the crumbs that were left on his plate and taking them in his mouth. “You’ve always been a nerd and you always will. After all they even consider you a genius, don’t they? Well, honestly I think you have the opposite problem to mine: you study and work too much and enjoy life too little.”

“Not jumping on something every time you get the chance to do doesn’t mean not enjoying life. There are people who prefer to be left alone when they can,” the younger twin stated finishing his hot chocolate. “My job gives me all the action I need, so I try to avoid troubles at least when I’m not around shooting demons.”

“I see what you mean, but come on, Yukio! You’re almost sixteen, you’re not an adult yet. You should stop acting like one at least in your private life!” Rin claimed firmly. “You’ll have all the time to be a boring asocial when you get older.”

“I know how you feel, but I assure you that I’m good with what I do,” Yukio said rising from his sit. “Come on, let’s get out of here. I bet that with all this snow park is quite a sight.”

The other nodded and waited for him to pay. Then, after a brief chat with the bartender, they headed for their intended destination, walking quietly side by side. The half-demon held his eyes straight ahead, lost in thoughts, as if he was considering something, while the exorcist kept shooting him continuous glances, wondering if his brother had got annoyed for something he had said or maybe because he had abruptly cut off the discussion they were having.

The streets were now filled with people walking and chatting happily, in pairs or small groups, who occasionally stopped to admire the decorated and well-lit shop windows. The park was full of children playing and chasing each other, engaging real snowballs wars and rolling inside the deepest piles. Yukio looked at them, feeling nostalgic and with a pang of envy too, following their carefree movements and comparing them to his childhood memories. In the end, after walking through the snow-covered paths for a while, the twins decided to sit on a bench placed under a bare tree, from whose branches hung colourful ribbons that someone had decided to hang as a decoration in honour of the oncoming holiday.

Once they were seated shoulder to shoulder, Rin finally decided to speak. “Yukio? Listen…The day after tomorrow, on Christmas Eve, Shima proposed to throw a party to celebrate it all together with our friends. Why don’t you join us? There will be all your students and I’m sure they’d be happy to have you there, especially Shiemi,” suggested looking hopeful at his brother. “I’ve been thinking about inviting you for some time, but I’ve never got the chance to ask before.”

“I don’t know if this is a good idea, Nii-san. It’s something among you guys, I’m afraid I’d be in the way,” Yukio opposed with the gentler tone he could find. “And then maybe others don’t want me to come. I’m one of their teachers after all and students usually tend to make fun of them when they are together. I don’t think I want to know what they really think of me. “

“Oh, that’s some excuse! I told you they’d be happy to have you with us! Besides, if you come they’ll realize that you’re not as cold as ice and as insensitive as you seemed to be when you teach us! And it’s not only for us students, we’ve invited Shura too and some other adults, so quit the teacher excuse because it doesn’t hold water,” the half-demon scoffed, shoving his brother’s shoulder a little. “Yukio, please! I’m sure you’ll have fun. I’d feel guilty if I left you alone on Christmas Eve and I _really_ want to go to that party. Come on, don’t force me to choose between the two things. I don’t want to hurt either you or the guys. And then try to think of it this way: if you come you can control me and prevent me from doing stupid things.”

“Nii-san…I wouldn’t get upset if you went at the party. I understand how important it’s for you to have some new friends. It’s because of this that…” The young exorcist tried again, but he was interrupted.

“Yukio, please. Do it for me,” the eldest twin insisted, looking away. He hated to talk in those terms, he found it extremely embarrassing, especially with Yukio. But that seemed to be the only way to convince that hardhead to enjoy himself at least once in a lifetime. Moreover, he really wanted to have him there and to be able to have some fun with him. It was a chance to forget for a while what they were and how unavoidable their fate was. “It would mean a lot to me to have you there with me. It’s surely going to be great…And I’d be happier if I could share the evening with my little brother.”

The other looked at him, taken aback. It was rare for his brother to express his feelings towards him and it pleased him. He couldn’t help smiling. After all he himself want nothing more than spending some time with his twin without worries or problems to be faced. “If you insist, alright, Nii-san. I’ll come to that party. You must care a lot about it if you’re willing to humiliate yourself so much in order to persuade me,” he joked without malice placing a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “And I promise that I’ll try to loosen up a bit and not to be a killjoy.”

“Go ahead and mock me if you feel like, but you gave in! And don’t dare to be a bore at the party because I’m going there with my brother Yukio and not with Okumura-sensei, understood?” Rin muttered, annoyed by his mocking tone, pushing his hand away. “Woe betide you if you ruin my evening!”

“Don’t worry, Nii-san, I’ll know how to behave,” he laughed, grabbing and squeezing the other’s fingers. “Are you sure you aren’t cold? Your hands are freezing.”

The half-demon stared at him embarrassed. “Yukio! What the hell are you doing? I’m fine!” He exclaimed trying to break free from his grip. Now and then Yukio caught him off guard with that kind of behaviours that he never knew how to interpret and that made him uneasy as almost nothing else did. “Come on, we are no longer kids.”

In response, the younger twin took his other hand, clasping both in his ones. “Watch your language, Nii-san, how many times have I to tell you? You should have taken a pair of gloves, the temperature is below zero this morning. Or at least you should have kept your hands in your pocket as I did,” he scolded trying to maintain a neutral tone of voice and ignoring his protests, but carefully avoiding the other’s gaze. He didn’t need to see Rin’s face to know what expression he was wearing. A mixture of confusion and embarrassment, and maybe even a little of annoyance. But he couldn’t find the strength restrain himself, every time he got an excuse he had to take advantage of it. There were so few times when that kind of behaviours wasn’t considered suspicious, so he couldn’t be blamed too much if he tried to exploit them at full blast.

What had to be condemned were the reasons that drove him to such acts, the emotions that grew inside him and fed on those small contacts. It was something that had always been inside of him, since when he could remember. An excessive attachment to his brother, often associated with unfounded jealousies and with the desire to monopolize the other’s attention. When he was younger he didn’t understand what it was about but, despite the fact that his moods often confused and abashed him till becoming a real torment, he had always refrained himself from talking about it with someone, even with Shiro. Something told him that if he had confessed what he felt he would have suffered the consequences because those emotions were somehow _wrong_.

Growing up, he had come to understand the true nature of his feelings, but at the beginning he had refused to accept them, as he had done with the discovery of being the son of Satan, because it went against everything he had been taught. He had tried to forget about them, but he had only obtained to exasperate his attachment to Rin and to put heart and soul into his decision to protect him from the plans of their biological father.

It was only after Shiro’s death, when he had truly become aware of his demonic nature and all its consequences, that he had decided to start to accept with his feelings, without suppressing or denying them. His affection for Rin went far beyond the simple bond of brotherhood. He loved him more than he should have. It was one of the worst sins according to the Church and it was also a crime. But he had decided that it didn’t matter. After all, being the son of Satan, he was damned in any case, nothing could redeem him from his own blood and he also couldn’t actually bring himself to feel guilty for what he felt. It was a sincere feeling, it was _pure_ , nothing that he could feel ashamed of. His anxiety to conceal it was due to the fear that Rin wouldn’t accept it and would decide to break off all relations with him. Yukio couldn’t have endured it because his brother was now his only true reason to live, together with the will to fight against who had condemned them to be stuck between two worlds. He couldn’t imagine his life without that stubborn and rebellious guy his twin was. So he was content to support and protect him by all means available and to enjoy those little moments when his true feelings could surface a little. A random fleeting contact, a smile, a hug and the warmth they brought with them. He felt his cheeks warm up as he concentrated on the Rin’s hands, cold against his hot skin. He didn’t need anything else if he could keep him close, not even that he reciprocated.

“Er … Yukio?”

The half-demon’s voice distracted him from his thoughts, forcing him back to the present. The young exorcist forced himself to look up and found himself sinking his eyes into the other’s one, so similar yet so different from his own. Beautiful. The blush on his face deepened and he thanked the fact that he could blame the bitter cold of the weather. “Yes, Nii-san?”

“You should let me go, don’t you think so?” Rin said, glancing significantly to their fingers still intertwined and blushing slightly in turn. “Someone could _misinterpret_ , if you see what I mean…”

“Am I supposed to let your hands freeze only because you’re afraid that someone could think badly of us?” The younger asked trying to hide the discomfort. “Come on, Nii-san, people have more interesting things to do than watching what we’re doing. Besides, even if someone noticed, it is very unlikely that they’d remember about us within an hour.”

“Um, you’re right, but…” The other stuttered not knowing where to lay his eyes. He hated Yukio with all my heart when he used his own damn logic to destroy his reasoning attempts because in the end he always made him do what he wanted. However, the worst thing at that time was that he couldn’t understand what the exorcist was up to and what he wanted from him. In addition he felt confused as it often happened when they were in similar positions and he couldn’t identify the feelings that stirred inside him. And, damn it, blushing like he was wasn’t like him at all. Because of his brother furthermore. “I don’t know if…”

“Rin …” The exorcist called softly, interrupting him and lifting his chin up to force the half-demon to look at him straight into the eyes once again. What he was doing was dangerous and he was well aware that he was threatening to destroy all his efforts to keep his real feelings hidden. But he couldn’t stop. Their faces had never been so close and he felt his self-control crumble quickly.

Rin took courage and lifted his eyes up, finding himself few inches away from his brother. There was something wrong in that situation, something that his mind refused to grasp. He and Yukio were staring intently at each other, both uncomfortable and with their cheeks slightly flushed. It looked like one of those scenes in the mangas that he occasionally read, the ones in which the two characters were going to kiss.

The idea hit him hard, sending him into a panic. No, it wasn’t happening. They were brothers, dammit! But then why he wanted nothing else more than closing the little space that still kept them apart? “Yukio…” The other’s name escaped from his lips in a small breath before he could stop it and he realized that he wouldn’t have backed off. Maybe later he would have regretted it, but at that moment he would have accepted it more than willingly.

Their eyes closed, but before their lips could meet, Yukio’s mobile phone began to ring, making them jump and breaking the idyll. They pulled abruptly away and the owner of the phone answered quickly, his face still burning.

“Okumura Yukio speaking. Mephisto?! N-No, nothing…Yes, really! What do you need?” He stuttered uncomfortably. He listened for a moment, then his eyes widened with worry. “What? Where?! Sure…I understand. Damn it.” His gaze rested on Rin for a moment. “Yes…Of course! Give me ten minutes and I’ll be there. Of course I’m sure! Yes, yes…Mephisto, please don’t…That’s it…Alright. I’m coming.” He hung up and turned to face his brother, who was looking at him impatiently. “A mission of the greatest urgency. I have to go, Nii-san. I’m sorry for our day together,” he explained calmly, but his eyes burning with anxiety. “I’ll make it up to you soon, I promise.”

The half-demon grabbed him by the arm, preventing him from getting up. “Yukio, what’s going on? What kind of mission?” He asked worriedly. He had never seen his brother so tense before an assignment and he hadn’t liked the look the younger had thrown during the call. Besides he had curse, even if lightly, and that was something that he almost never did. “Now you must explain me what the fuck…”

“We’ll talk when I get back. I don’t have time right now, Mephisto is waiting for me,” the other interrupted freeing himself from his grip. “I’ll be back soon, Nii-san. But promise me that you won’t follow me. I beg you, Rin.”

His tone soft yet firm did nothing but increase the elder twin’s anguish. “Yukio! What the hell? Tell me! I have the right to…” He began, almost enraged.

But Yukio stopped him again, this time grabbing his sweatshirt and firmly pressing his lips to his in a chaste but passionate kiss. Rin’s eyes widened in disbelief, but didn’t reject it, and found himself instinctively responding to the kiss. The contact lasted only few seconds but it was so intense that, when the exorcist pulled away, both felt a void that was desperately asking to be filled again.

“Wait for me, Nii-san, I’ll be back soon,” the younger murmured and almost ran away, partially because he was in a hurry, and partially fearing the consequences of his action.

The half-demon sat paralyzed on the bench, halfway between confusion and bewilderment for what had just happened and the concern for the mission they had entrusted to his brother. What the heck had just happened?! He and Yukio had…kissed. No. He must have imagined it. Yet he could still feel the warmth of the other’s lips on his, the softness of that fleeting contact and the shivers that it had given him. He took his head in his hands. What had they done? He needed an explanation, something that could calm down the chaos that had broken out inside him. But Yukio had left him there, alone with his doubts, and he had a horrible feeling about what was going to happen within few hours.


	3. Part III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, guys!
> 
> Sorry, once again it has took me quiet a while to update! I'll try to be quicker next time! ^^"
> 
> Thanks to all the reader and for the reviews, it means a lot to me! I hope you will go on following the story!
> 
> So, here the second part. I hope you'd like it! Let me know what you think, please!
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> *Disclaimer*: I don't own Ao no Exorcist or its characters!

The evening had quickly fallen and the sky had already become dark in the late afternoon, as if it wanted to steal the time away, drowning it in the approaching long night. Around the town centre people were still walking under the street lamps and in front of the lighted windows of the shops, but in the suburbs the streets had emptied by the sunset. The surroundings of the twin’s dormitory were, as always, deserts, because for students of the True Cross, the only people who sometimes happened to pass in the proximity of the building, it was vacation time. Rin was laying on his stomach on his bed, idly flipping through one of his mangas without being able to concentrate either on cartoons and on the images, his mind being lost somewhere else, tormented by the anxiety of the waiting.

After recovering from his bewilderment, he had finally decided to leave the park and had spent the rest of the day walking around, trying not to think about the way in which he and Yukio had parted and the feeling of danger that had burdened on him since when his brother had run off on his mission, leaving him on the frozen bench. Luckily, as he was considering the idea of going home, had bumped into Shiemi and the girl, sensing his bad mood, had invited him to spend the day with her, hoping that her company could somehow help her friend to rise a little his spirits. The half-demon had gladly accepted the offer, grateful that she hadn’t asked for explanations and hopeful that he would have been able to get distracted at least for a while.

The two had stayed in the blonde’s garden, shovelling the snow and trying to build snowmen that could vaguely resemble animals, with incredibly poor results, and then they had gone inside to drink some herbal tea and chase away the cold from their bodies. Rin had had a lot of fun and had felt a gentle warmth invading him whenever Shiemi had laughed at his vain attempts to give the snowdrifts the shapes he wanted or at the confused faces he did when she tried to explain him the various properties of medicinal herbs. She was always so serene, crystalline, pure, even if perhaps she was often too naive and fearful. But he did like her exactly because the girl’s soul possessed that innocent candour that he had been denied since his birth. Maybe that was the reason why she had attracted him since their first meeting, because of the warm reassuring light that her beautiful red cheeks and her shy smile emanated. He had believed to love her, and perhaps for a period he really had, but, with the passing of time, he had realized that what he felt towards her was nothing but the strong and special affection that two best friends shared.

Shiemi, on her behalf, had never asked for anything. She was happy to be near him, to be somehow useful to him or just to be a comfort as had happened that day. Although their friendship had entered temporarily in crisis after the truth about Rin’s nature had come out into the open, she had tried to make amends for not having trusted him, listening instead to her fears, and for rejecting him instead of giving him her support in the time of need. Rin hadn’t blamed her for her reaction because he himself had found extremely difficult to accept the fact of being Satan’s son and he had forgiven her willingly, eager to be able to enjoy her affection once again.

The boy bade farewell only when it started to get really dark. Before letting him go, Shiemi had wrapped him in a tight hug, whispering that everything would be alright and that things would take a favourable turn again soon. He had been surprised by those words and had looked at her, confused. She, in response, had smiled at him and had told him to bring her greetings to Yukio before closing the door. The look that accompanied her last words had pushed Rin to wonder if the girl had by chance guessed that his discontent was related in some way to his twin, but he had rejected the idea almost immediately. He must have misunderstood a sentence that completely lack of allusions. After all it was impossible that Shiemi knew about his brother’s mission and especially she couldn’t know what had happened between them at the park. He was just being paranoid, or perhaps he was just wishing that someone could tell him what to do without forcing him to explain the whole thing.

The half-demon sighed tiredly, closing the comic and glancing at Kuro who was sleeping contently, curled up at the foot of the bed. He hadn’t said anything about the kiss to him either. He had only confessed of being worried about his brother because of the strange way in which he reacted when he had received that call from Mephisto. The familiar spirit had tried to reassure him, reminding him that Yukio was an exorcist of a certain level and that he didn’t take unnecessary risks. Moreover, if the mission was as dangerous as it seemed to be, he certainly hadn’t gone alone. So he had no reason to worry that much about his brother. Rin nodded but, even if he had to admit that Kuro was right, he hadn’t been able to get rid of his worry. He felt that something would go wrong even if he couldn’t how he knew it.

He rolled over in bed for a while, trying to make up his mind, and eventually stood with a scoff, careful not to wake his familiar spirit. Staying there tormenting himself would have only worsened his mood. He had no choice, he had to know what kind of mission had been assigned to his brother and there was only one person who could give him that information. He grabbed his jacket and left the building, heading towards the school main building.

He walked quick-paced the distance that separated the dormitory from the True Cross, too impatient to pay attention to his surroundings, his mind busy with trying to find a way to force Mephisto to answer immediately and clearly to his questions. The snow reflected the yellow light of the street lamps and shone like a mass of white gold crystals, while small flakes had started to fall slowly. Normally he would have stopped to admire the scenery, savouring the feeling of quiet beauty that it gave, but at that moment his thoughts that occupied his head barely allowed him to notice where he was going.

Once he had reached at his destination, he looked up at the windows of the top floor, where the principal’s office was. A thin blade of light filtered from behind the heavy curtains that covered the glass, very faint but still visible even at that distance. Apparently he had been lucky, the demon was still in the building. After all even Mephisto had the tasks to perform, or at least he had to pretend to have some, to maintain the image he had built. If the headmaster seriously worked or not, Rin didn’t know, but he didn’t really care. What mattered was that the lunatic was within reach to satisfy his doubts and answer all his questions.

He entered the building and hurried upstairs, heading towards the office, and, when he was at the door, he flung it open without bothering to knock, saying in a tone of accusation: “You have to explain what the heck is going on and where the fuck you sent my brother!”

Mephisto looked up from the manga he was reading and turned towards the newcomer, not at all surprised by his entrance, almost as if he he had been waiting for him. “What did I say? He has come in the end! I’m never wrong,” he commented amused, resting an elbow on the polished surface of his massive desk, looking at Amaimon who was perched on the arm of his chair, his eyes fixed in turn on their half-brother. “Even if it took him a little more time than I had expected.”

“Now you’ll have to explain the whole thing, Aniue,” the green-haired demon stated flatly, putting in the ever-present lollipop back in his mouth. “What a bore.”

“This is yet to be seen, Otouto…” The headmaster replied softly while a not very reassuring smile spread across his face. “Since when do I give explanation?”

His brother looked at him vaguely intrigued and opened his mouth to reply, but Rin anticipated him. “Hey, you two! Don’t ignore me!” The half-demon exploded, annoyed. “Mephisto! I asked you a question! I want an answer!”

“To tell the truth, actually you broke in my office in a very unkind way, screaming at me as little elegantly as possible to tell you where Yukio is ~” Mephisto mockingly corrected him, pretending to be almost offended. “I thought you had been taught some manners.”

The boy gave him a murderous look, more irritated than ever. That idiot had not only ignored his request, but he was also making fun of him. The demon had to be grateful that at the moment he really wanted to know what was happening or he would have not restrained himself from kicking his smirking face. “What kind of mission did you give to my brother?” He repeated with a little less heat, articulating each syllable.

“Aniue, I think that if you don’t answer him, our little brother will go up into flames again,” Amaimon blankly observed. “Don’t blame me if he ruins the office. I warned you.”

“Good point, Amaimon. Well, I think it’s time to take a visit to the roof! ~” The principal claimed cheerfully, getting up. “Wait here, Otouto, and try not to eat all the sweets as you usually do. And don’t touch my things.” He walked towards the door taking Rin by the arm and dragging him out against his will. “See you later!”

The demon pushed the boy upstairs until they reached the roof that covered part of the school roof, holding him tight to prevent him to escape, and, once there, he let him go without warning, almost causing him to fall on the thin layer of sleet that covered the floor. The half-demon cursed heavily between his teeth, but the headmaster ignored him, going to lean against the railing.

“The snow is such a good show in this world, isn’t it? It will never cease to amaze me. On Gehenna you never see this kind of landscapes,” he said opening his arms theatrically and letting the light flakes that were still falling rested on his white gloves. “Even if it’s a little bit too cold at the moment for my tastes.”

“If you’re done with the crap, we can speak about Yukio’s mission,” Rin retorted harshly. Like hell he would let the other stun him with his nonsense. This time he would get the information he wanted. Or at least, that was what he hoped. “And no tricks, OK? I won’t tolerate it.”

“How touchy! Are you in a bad mood or something?” The demon teased with a grin. “Anyway, I’m sorry for you, but I won’t tell you anything about what’s happening. Firstly, because it’s an important mission and I cannot risk messing everything up because you feel the need to act on one of your attacks of hysteria and mania to save the world. Secondly, your brother made me swear that I wouldn’t say anything, and since I’m a demon of honour, I’ll do as I was asked. You know, he wants to explain the matter in person, if and when he comes back…”

“What do you mean “ _if_ and when he comes back”?! You don’t mean that he is going to get killed, I hope!” Rin attacked him again, his patience running short. Perhaps he could always smash that annoying face of his and then force him to talk. It would certainly help him to unload a little bit the stress and the anxiety that were slowly making him drown. “And why my brother would want to keep me from knowing what’s going and on make me even more worried? It is so…stupid!”

“Pardon, I slipped! I didn’t mean to imply anything with that “if”! I’m so used to turn everything into a tragedy to annoy the people that now I do it almost without realizing it! ~” His speaker said, ironic. “I don’t know why your brother has asked me such a thing, even if I admit that I’d be curious to understand the reason. But he still expressively demanded that from me. He’s most likely trying to protect you. Usually I never listen to our Yukio, and the others in general, but this time I think I’ll do it considering your reactions. Very interesting…You look a little stressed, don’t you?” Finally he turned to look at the half-demon with a cheerful smile, nonchalantly ignoring his obvious frustration. “Relax! Being in that state of tension isn’t good for your flames. And Yukio wouldn’t be happy if you lost control one more time!”

“I can take care of my flames, mind your own business, you clown! And for my stress, if I were you I wouldn’t laugh so much because I might decide to unload it on your face,” the boy growled threatening. But then he let out a sigh and went to lean on the railing in turn, deciding not to collect the provocation, even though the impulse to kick the other was getting really strong. “That’s all we need! Since we made peace after Shiro’s death, Yukio has started behaving weirdly at times and I don’t know what to think of that. Today he has gone too far. Firstly the thing at the park and now this sudden urge to keep me in the dark. Damn him!” He muttered speaking mostly to himself. The angered tone had returned to veil his voice, but there was also a hue of embarrassment because of the memories of that morning. “I have the right to know where my brother is, and especially if he is in danger! I’m tired of this thing that he wants to protect me, I can take care of myself! I do not need a baby-sitter!”

“That may be true, but you often make it seem otherwise,” Mephisto commented. He hadn’t missed the emotions that had crossed the boy’s face. That was interesting. “You should agree with me when I say that certain episodes have shown that you have the tendency to be… _irresponsible_ , correct me if I’m wrong. So your brother has a point, even if he often exaggerates with his protectiveness. But, on the other hand, you’re twins, so it’s not surprising that you both share the same tendency to excess.” The grin on his face turned into a smirk. “As for the Yukio’s behaviour, now I don’t know what happened between you two, but I bet there’s a reason behind his actions.”

“And what the fuck could push him do things that a brother should absolutely never do, for any reason?” Rin blurted out without thinking. He immediately regretted what he had just said because in the eyes of the headmaster appeared a flash of understanding that he didn’t like at all. He hoped that he had only imagined, after all that day his paranoia seemed to have suddenly started to work overtime. However something told him that the other had understood far too well what he was referring to with his sentence.

“You can’t use human terms of comparison for the two of you. Whether you like it or not, you’re demons, and not common ones. You’re the sons of Satan! This complicates things, _a lot_. Or rather, in a sense, it makes them easier. No matter how much you try to adapt, human costumes aren’t suitable to your nature and they never will be. Trust me, I speak from experience. After centuries in this world I still can’t understand certain habits in use among its inhabitants. They are absurd,” the reply vaguely amused was. “And then, come on, it’s obvious! Who doesn’t have a special and unique relationship with his own favourite brother?”

At the remark Rin’s eyes widened and stared at him dumbfounded, not knowing how to interpret that comment which, from whatever side he looked it, sounded to him always really wrong. Was Mephisto making fun of him or did he really think what he had just said? For a moment he felt the urge to ask him, but he restrained himself and decided that in some cases it was much better to keep his doubts.

The demon watched his reactions with a satisfied expression, enjoying the confusion that he had caused, then broke away from the railing, showing his intention to return to his office. “Now you’d better go, I have some unfinished business to take care of. And I don’t want to leave Amaimon alone for too long. My Otouto unfortunately is very… _sensible_ to boredom and I wouldn’t want him to decide to destroy my school with an earthquake just because he has nothing to play with. It would be quite irritating. So it’s better if I go back and check on him,” he said walking toward the stairs. “You should have understood that you won’t get any information from me. And since I am the only one who knows about this matter, I suggest that you just keep calm and wait for your brother to come back. It’s the best thing. Don’t try to come to my office, now we’ll go home and you should do the same.” He opened the door and slipped inside, turning one last time towards the boy. “And please, Rin, try not to use human parameters with what has nothing to do with them. You’d regret it!” And without giving him time to reply he disappeared inside the building.

The half-demon stood still for a moment, staring at the spot where the headmaster had disappeared, feeling halfway between irritation and confusion. He hadn’t completely grasped the exact meaning of Mephisto’s last sentence. Was it possible that the madman had guessed everything that was going on between him and Yukio without needing to ask? Had he understood the whole thing better and above all before him? Because actually he still couldn’t explain his twin’s actions. Or rather, he had a hypothesis that was tormenting him, but he preferred not to consider it. It was absurdly simple, but it couldn’t be true. Could it?

He sighed. He had wanted someone to tell him what to do and, although in his own way, the demon had just done it. So he would try not to look at it using “human parameters”. Too bad that those were the only ones he had been taught to use. He clenched his fists. The demon’s chatter had succeeded in confusing him despite all his efforts not to be duped. There was no doubt, Mephisto was a devil, in every sense. He hadn’t managed to get any clue about the Yukio’s mission. He considered for a moment to go back into the office and insist, but he eventually gave up, in part because the headmaster had warned him that he would be leaving soon, in part because he was afraid to find out whether Mephisto had been serious or not about having too a “special and unique relationship with his own brother”. He had already got too many news for that day.

He spent few more minutes watching the snow falling more and more infrequent on the landscape painted in white and then decided to move back to the dormitory. Now all he could do was waiting. He would go to sleep and the next day he would try to find something to pass the time. He could spend some more hours with Shiemi and maybe go shopping with Shima and Konekomaru or wander around with Bon. Perhaps he could ask his companions to meet in the morning to organize in detail the party they would be holding on Christmas Eve. They didn’t have much time left. That last thought saddened him a little. He didn’t know if Yukio would come back in time for the party and he had hoped so much that his brother could be present at the event. He sighed again. He would have put up with the idea that they might have to do without him, no matter how bitter the thought sound. The important thing was that his twin came home alive nad safe as he had promised.

The clock tower struck midnight just as he was leaving the True Cross, greeting with his deep sound the day that was Christmas Eve. Rin looked up at it, feeling his foreboding becoming in some way more urgent. There was something wrong, he could feel it. He shook his head firmly, accelerating his pace, eager to stand among the reassuring walls of his dorm together with Kuro. It had to be just the power of suggestion. Besides, he was tired, he had woken up early that morning. That was all. It was a stupid paranoia. Yet that shadow that stretched over him showed no intention to fade, no matter how hard he tried to seclude it in the back of his mind.


	4. Part IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everybody!
> 
> I've been quicker this time! Unfortunately for next part you'll have to wait at least two weeks, because I'm going on holiday and I won't have internet with me! I hope you don't mind too much!
> 
> Thanks for reading! I enjoy the reviews and the kudos!
> 
> So, here the fourth part. We get to see Rin's classmates as well! Let me know what you think, please!
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Ao no Exorcist or its characters!

After taking what had seemed hours to fall asleep, fatigue and especially the need to disconnect from all the emotions that were stirring inside him had prevailed on Rin, causing him to fall into a deep but troubled sleep. Blurry and scattered images had spread through his mind during the night, visions he hadn’t been able to put into focus. The light of a fireplace, a moonless night sky, landscapes that he had never seen, unfamiliar voices whose words he couldn’t catch. When he had woken up he couldn’t remember almost anything of his dreams, but for some reason he was sure that those images didn’t belong to him, although he couldn’t explain how it was possible.

Kuro had been the one to get him back from his troubled slumber. After several attempts to wake him up from his sleep by calling him and giving him small pokes on the arm, the demonic cat had sunk his sharp canines in the boy’s hand. Rin had remained still for a moment, analyzing the sensation of pain that his flesh was sending him and trying to figure out where he was. He felt strangely numb. Then the memories of the day before had struck him without warning along with the usual bad feeling, but at least his mind had also come back clear and free from strange visions of the night. He sat up abruptly, staring at his familiar spirit with eyes still clouded by sleep for a moment. In the end, the pain had finally kicked in.

“Kuro, dammit! What the hell got into you? Why did you wake up like that?” He exclaimed, rubbing his injured hand. “There are other ways to wake people up!”

‘ _I’m sorry Rin, but I called you a lot of times and you didn’t answer me. I was worried!_ ’ Kuro explained slowly moving his tails. ‘ _I was afraid that Satan had trapped you again. It’s been a while since the last time it happened and I think that he’s only waiting for us to lower our guard. Moreover, since Yukio isn’t here we are even more vulnerable…_ ’

Rin let out a sigh, moving blankets away. It was true, it had been a long time since his biological father had come to disturb him in his dreams. He hoped that maybe Satan had started to find it boring and was tired of trying, but with someone like the Devil himself you surely could never know. And then, knowing his sick mind, it was highly unlikely that he could get bored of haunting him. “I see, Kuro. Actually I did dream something weird, but nothing that concerns the bastard thankfully,” he muttered annoyed. Then his eyes clouded with concern. “Yukio isn’t back yet? Don’t you know anything about him?”

‘ _Nothing, I’m sorry._ ’ The creature shook his head. ‘ _You still got that feeling?_ ’

“Yes. Apparently it will go on tormenting me until my idiotic brother comes back. Last night, while you were asleep, I went and have a talk with Mephisto, but of course there was no way to make him spit the truth out…He only managed to confuse me even more! I hate that clown when he plays his tricks!” Rin growled at the memory of how he had been deceived by the ambiguous words of the headmaster. That demon was absurd.

‘ _Come on, don’t get annoyed, you know him. Even Yukio can barely bear him at times and that says everything,_ ’ the familiar tried to comfort him. ‘ _Now you’ve better hurry up and get ready. Don’t you have to meet your friends this afternoon?_ ’

“Yes, but I can do it later. At the moment I don’t really want to go out,” his reply was. “Shima won’t be around before one and I’m not in the mood to see Izumo and to put up with her bad temper. And I really don’t know where Bon and Konekomaru could be. But I’d like to stop at Shiemi’s…”

‘ _Whatever it is you’ve better hurry. It’s already half past noon_ ,’ Kuro said noticing that his friend hadn’t realized what time it was and pointing the watch with his tails. ‘ _It’s another reason why I was trying so hard you to wake up._ ’

“ _What_?” The other exploded, jumping on his feet. He had realized only in that moment that the sun was already high in the sky and that its rays were touching his face, as if it was teasing him in turn. He had slept much longer than he had thought. “You could have just told me! What were you waiting for?! I have to do everything in a hurry, damn it! I haven’t even done the shopping!” And without waiting for an answer he rushed into the bathroom.

The familiar got out of bed with a jump, chuckling. Poor Rin, he never managed to do things with calm. But in a sense, being in such a hurry that day would be good for the boy because it would keep him distracted from the thought of his brother. Kuro was worried about Yukio in turn, even if he didn’t want to admit it not to put even more anxiety on his friend. He found it strange that the boy was being tormented by that dark presentiment, it wasn’t promising at all. He only hoped that Yukio would get home safe and sound. He knew all too well that Rin couldn’t live without him and that he could have never overcome his loss if they had come to that. However, the demonic cat was also certain that the exorcist was aware of this and that he would do everything in his power to stay by his twin’s side. The problem was that the younger twin’s best could turn out not to be enough.

 

The rest of the day passed fairly quickly. Eventually Rin had to give up paying a visit to Shiemi for lack of time and he occupied all the free he had left to do the housework. Then he met his classmates in the early afternoon at one of their favourite diners. Shima was all excited because he had found, according to him, the most amazing place in the world where to hold their Christmas party and announced happily that they could go to see it already after their “business meeting”. Listening to the pink-haired boy, the place was big enough to accommodate about seventy people and, since the list of their guests didn’t reach that number, they could have fun with the most bulky and flashy decorations. Bon had tried in every way to cool down his childhood friend’s enthusiasm with many sceptical considerations, but the other seemed too sure of himself to even listen to what he was being told.

They had begun to discuss the type of decorations to use and Konekomaru had advanced the idea to bring a real tree, big enough to be memorable, and adorning it. Shiemi immediately liked the idea, although she was, as usual, too embarrassed to openly express her approval, but she timidly offered to procure it anyway. There was a debate on whether the suggestion was too stupid to be taken into account or whether it was worthy of a try, and eventually they had decided that it was fine. After all a Christmas party without a tree couldn’t be considered as such. Izumo had taken the task of helping the other girl with the transport of the plant and the conversation had moved on.

Rin had followed all the threads trying to sound interested, but he couldn’t really get himself to participate. Everything seemed to remind him that his brother was away somewhere and that probably he wouldn’t have been at the party, and that thought spoiled what otherwise would have amused him and get him easily involved. He had mentioned only briefly to his companions that Yukio had left indefinitely for a mission, but they seemed to have realized that the fact had troubled him much more than he had shown, so they didn’t ask questions and didn’t comment about his poor involvement. The boy was very grateful for that and tried to intervene when he was asked for an opinion or an advice, but he was far too distracted to be able to pull out ideas that could help them.

Holding back a sigh, he moved his gaze away from his friends, focusing him on the busy street outside the bar window. He felt a little guilty behaving like that when they were finally doing something together again, especially after all the tension that had spoiled their friendship after his demonic nature had been revealed. But his idiotic brother had given him too much to think about and he couldn’t help it, no matter how hard he tried to direct his thoughts elsewhere. Being stuck like that, without the smallest clue of what was happening, facing his twin’s and Mephisto’s absurd behaviours, at the mercy of his damned bad feeling, was simply too much to ignore. It was true that without that four-eyes idiot he felt lost, he had had to admit it to himself, not without reluctance. ‘You’ve better come home unharmed after all that you’re making me go through, Yukio, because _I_ ’ll send you to the hospital!’ He thought angrily to himself. ‘And woe betide you if you’ll ever give a nasty surprise like this again! I’ll make you regret the day you chose to become an exorcist!’

“And you, Rin, what do you think?” Shima’s voice suddenly brought him back to reality, catching him completely off guard. “Don’t you think that would be an absolutely _fantastic_ idea?”

“Um, yes, of course!” He said trying to sound confident when he actually hadn’t the faintest idea of what the subject of the sentence was. “Why not?”

“Oh, thank you, Rin, at least you understand me,” his friend cried, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You’ll see, we’ll make a great impression!”

“You guys are idiots, but this had already been clear for some time,” Izumo ruled crossing her arms over her chest. “How could you even come to think such a thing? And it’s not just because we don’t have the money to put it physically into practice, but mainly because some idiot would end up getting hurt for sure.”

The half-demon looked at her and then quickly glared at the others’ faces, trying to understand what he had just agreed to, while the pink-haired boy tried to convince the girl that his idea, whatever it was, wasn’t so crazy and dangerous as it might seem at first sight.

“Izumo is right, I don’t want you to get hurt either,” Shiemi interjected timidly. “I don’t think that it is the case, guys…Rin, Shima, I understand that the idea can be pretty and, above all, exciting however, it’s a bit too risky.”

“Er…C’mon, aren’t you exaggerating now?” Rin stuttered without the security he had tried to put in the previous answer. “We fight _demons_! What can be so dangerous for us?”

“Exaggerating?” Konekomaru exclaimed. “Rin, we are speaking of explosives, and quite powerful ones! If you don’t use them properly you could be serious trouble! Maybe not as serious as our missions, but this isn’t a joke as well! And then does somebody care to explain what fireworks have to do with _Christmas_?! You shoot the at New Year’s!”

“Fireworks?” The half-demon let out caught by surprise. He was ready for anything but he certainly wasn’t expecting that the discussion had led to such a proposal. Damn, they were talking about tablecloths till few minutes before! However he immediately regretted his exit because all his companions turned to look at him. ‘Way to give the act away! You’re a genius, Rin…’ He mentally scolded himself clearing his throat awkwardly. “Er…I mean…”

“Rin, do you even know what we’re talking about?” Bon asked, raising an eyebrow, though of course everyone knew the answer.

“Um…I got distracted for a moment,” he admitted uncomfortably, turning to look somewhere else. “I got lost while talking about decorations.”

“We have changed the subject ten minutes ago,” the other made him notice, not without a hint of irritation. Then without warning he added: “If you don’t feel like you can stay here with us you should go, no one will blame you.”

Rin looked at him, taken aback once again. Bon was right, there was no point for him to stay there with them if he didn’t listen to them and didn’t help in any way. However, even if he understood Bon’s motives to send him away, he couldn’t do as he was told because being with his classmates helped him not to torment himself and he, a little selfishly, wanted to remain with them at all costs. Their presence gave him a bit of cheerfulness and a valuable pretext to try to think about something else that wasn’t his twin. The problem was that he would have never admitted it aloud, even if it meant having to leave. He was silent a moment, thinking about what to do, but before he could bring herself to reply, Shiemi interjected.

“I think that Rin is here with us especially because he’s trying to distract himself from his concern for Yukio,” the girl defended him. “It’s normal to be a bit distracted, we all would act like that if we were in his place. If we really are his friends we have the duty to help him.” Then, seeing that her output had earned astonished gaze from everybody, she blushed and added, with less enthusiasm: “I see it this way…”

“Well said, Shiemi. If we have to be friends, let’s at least do it in a decent way, otherwise it is useless to pretend we are,” Izumo agreed with force, making the other girl blush even more and surprising all the people presents once again. Usually she never expressed herself about that kind of issues and especially she never took anyone’s side unless she was forced to or unless the situation was very serious. “And I’m sure Rin would do the same for us. So keep your head in the clouds if you must, even if I would prefer that you at least _listened_ to us. “

The others couldn’t help but nod to her authoritarian tone and half-demon shot a grateful look and a half smile at the two girls. He knew he could count on them, especially on the purple-haired girl. Even if she looked always sullen and distrustful towards everyone, she had been the first who had chosen to trust him again even knowing that he was Satan’s son. Besides, it seemed that lately she had taken Shiemi under her protection for some reason, a clear sign that their relationship had evolved since they had met each other for the first time. Izumo had softened, even if just a little, and even if of course she tried in every way not to show it.

“Good! Now that we have clarified that matter, why don’t we go and see the room?” Shima proposed breaking the strange atmosphere that had been created. “Allow me at least this since you have rejected en masse the fireworks.”

“It’s better if we do what he asks, otherwise he’ll stress us until we go and see that damn place,” Bon stated getting up and grabbing his childhood friend by the arm, forcing him to do the same. “At least we’ll get an idea of the spaces we have to decorate and of how we can arrange the tables and the rest. I hope it’s really nice as you claim with so much enthusiasm, Shima…”

“What have I been telling you since when we sat down? Apparently Rin isn’t the only one with his head in the clouds! Or is that, after we’ve known for a lifetime, you trust my judgment so little?” The pink-haired boy teased, laughing and earning a nasty glare from the other boy. “You’ll love it, Bon, I’m sure!”

“Whatever! I’ll decide when I get to see it,” the curt answer was.

The two went on arguing and others quick followed them, making sure to remember to pay the bill. As they walked, Rin stayed a little behind watching his classmates. Konekomaru had run to walk next to his two childhood friends, while Shiemi stood close to Izumo, while listening to the other girl complaining about everything, smiling with too much enthusiasm. He was glad to be with them, despite all the poor figures that he had collected in less than two hours. He felt at ease, accepted, understood. He could pretend to be a normal guy, with interest and perhaps a little complicated but normal life. His friends gave him that intimate family serenity in which he had been wrapped when he and Yukio still lived with Shiro, when he still didn’t know who he was. Of course the atmosphere was very different from the one of his childhood. It was more eventful, unstable, outspoken, but just as warm and reassuring. And for that so normal atmosphere, the same that was almost taken for granted by most people, Rin would fight and would even give his life. After all he owed it to his friends as much as he did to his brother. He would have given anything to be able to keep them by his side as long as he could, and so he would do. The consequences could go to hell.

In the end the place proved to be well above their expectations. It was located on the top floor of a building in the town outskirts. It was a huge and completely clear room, as if it was purpose-built to accommodate all the decorations and settlements that they had thought to prepare, including the giant tree. Konekomaru, Shiemi and Rin immediately showed themselves to be ecstatic about the place and filled Shima with compliments, and even Bon and Izumo gave signs of sincere appreciation. All that space seemed to have raised even more their creative enthusiasm and the group couldn’t wait to get to work. Even the half-demon seemed to be more collaborative and cheerful. That would be the most epic party of their lives, they had no doubt.

The purple-haired girl pulled out a big white sheet of paper from her backpack and began to draw a map of the place. The others immediately gathered around her and started arguing rather animatedly about how it would be better to divide the various spaces, where to place the tables and the rest of the furniture. Shima wanted at all costs to have a disco dance floor, while Konekomaru claimed that the most important thing were the tables and the food. Shiemi rather timidly tried to point out that the first thing they had to decide was where to put the tree, so that it was in quite sheltered from the crowd and unpleasant incidents could be avoided. Bon instead kept insisting that they couldn’t lose all the afternoon on the decoration of the room and that they also had to think about a program for the evening. Rin watched them fight without being able to fit into the discussion because, even when they called him into question, he was cut off before he got the chance to answer, and was left dumbfounded and a little amused by the absurd situation. Maybe everyone was really getting themselves a bit too carried away by enthusiasm.

“Everybody, will you shut up for a moment?” Izumo exploded at the end, after witnessing the chaotic and useless threads for a good ten minutes. Silence immediately fell on the room and everyone turned to look at her, taken aback. She seemed satisfied with the reaction she had obtained and spoke again, more calmly: “Talking all together won’t lead us anywhere. That said, as Suguro has rightly pointed out, we don’t have much time, the best thing is that each of us works on one aspect of the party, because if we are all on the same thing we’ll never agree on anything.” She waved some pieces of paper before their eyes. “Here is the list of the things we need. Feel free to add more if you think it is really necessary, but remember that we are not millionaires.” Her tone turned serious and imperious as she began to distribute the papers to her companions. “So. I, Shiemi and Rin will take care of the tree and of the decorations of the room. Konekomaru will go shopping for food, since he seems to care so much about it. Bon and Shima, you two idiots will take care of the organization of the evening with music and everything you want. “

“Why do _you_ have to decide what each of us must do?” Bon opposed, irritated by her authoritarian tone. “We aren’t your slaves.”

“Come on, Ryuji, Izumo is just trying to put a little of order!” Shima interjected cheerfully. “Come on, everybody knows that she has a thing for ordering people around! Let’s trust her leader skills, it will make things much easier. “

“You must shut up, you’re not impartial,” his friend growled glaring at him.

“If you don’t want to do as I said, there’s no problem, Suguro,” Izumo said coldly. “But, in this case, sort it out _yourself_.”

“I didn’t say I don’t like it, but that there are different ways to propose something,” he muttered under his breath. “We’ll we do as you say, after all it is the most _reasonable_ thing.”

“Good. So, if there are no other _objections_ , I’d say that everyone go to take care of their task,” the purple-haired girl stated satisfied. “For now we can start by buying things, tomorrow morning we’ll meet here and arrange everything. Then we’ll help Rin with the cooking.”

Her friends nodded and, after having deciding the time of the meeting for the following day, Shima, Bon and Konekomaru left the room heading towards the town centre where there were most of the shops.

“We do what we do, Izumo?” Rin asked, turning to their “captain”.

“Let’s finish mapping the room and choosing the right spot where to put the things and then we can go shopping as well,” was the firm reply.

The three of them sat on the floor and began a discussion, much more productive than the previous one, and twenty minutes they had a precise idea of spaces and an exact list of everything they would need. One finished that, they left the place in turn.

The streets were very crowded as usual on Christmas Eve, but the atmosphere was anything but stressed. Of course, the frenzy of the last shopping was almost palpable in the air that condensed in the cold breath of the hasty passer-byers, but it was a cheerful, almost serene agitation, because all their thoughts were fixed on the idea of the beautiful day that would soon be spending with their loved ones. The three friends walked side by side on the sidewalk, lost in turn in the general busy atmosphere, but not without enjoying the views of the bright and decorated shop windows and the scent of sweet floating along the streets. Shiemi was ecstatic in front of the thousand colours of the lights of the trees and of the garlands hanging from the balconies and she walked humming a tune popular almost without realizing it, her left hand tight in Izumo’s right, who led them through the crowd, while her other arm was clinging to Rin’s, who followed the two girls trying in vain to understand where they were heading.

The purple-haired girl dragged them from one shop to another for more than two hours, choosing with the precision of a satellite navigation system the places where they could find what they wanted, without ever missing a shot. Although they asked for the biggest items to be delivered at their place the next morning, the three in the end found themselves swamped by plastic bags, boxes and packages of every shape and size that made it almost difficult to walk down the street. However, despite a few snags and some bickering about the shopping, it was a nice afternoon. It had been a long time since Rin laughed as much as he had on that occasion and he was so taken by what he was doing that his concern for Yukio had been fading, becoming just a distant shadow in the depths of his mind. Shiemi, for her part, seemed to have lost a bit of her exaggerated shyness and spoke more loudly. Even Izumo allowed herself some smart jokes and few sincere smiles while talking to her friends.

At the end of what had become a real assault on the shops in search of the most beautiful and unique decorations at the cheapest prices more than a simple shopping session, the three decided to return to the room and leave there all their purchases, placing them in the small closet that had been supplied by the owner of the place, so that they were ready to be used the next morning. All three were a bit tired and dishevelled, but very satisfied with their work. The purple-haired girl let out a smug comment about the face that Bon would make at the sight of the masterpiece in which the room would be turned the next day, sure that the boy would never question her methods again, thus earning a grin of approval from Rin and a giggle from Shiemi.

After chatting for a bit, they separated because the girls had still to take care of the tree. The half-demon obviously had offered to help, but the two had firmly refused, saying that it was better if he went to rest and that he hadn’t to worry because if they could do a great job on their own. He had tried to insist, but he had eventually to let loose and had watched them walked away, as they talked packed full of God-knew-what, until they had disappeared from his view. He had remained still for few minutes sitting on the steps that led up to the entrance of the building, enjoying the pleasant sensations that the afternoon had left him, before his mind turned back to darker thoughts.

He finally decided to get up and move towards the dormitory. Kuro was waiting for him and he also had to cook dinner. He huffed out a frustrated breath, kicking a pile of snow placed on one side of the sidewalk. He had never felt so stupid in his life. Was it possible that such a simple situation could make him go that crazy against any reasonable reassurance? It wasn’t the first time that Yukio had gone on a mission while he had stayed at home. What was the difference from the other times? Well, in the first place he always knew where his brother was going and especially _what_ he was doing, at least in a vague way. It was that damn lack of information that tormented him, it was pretty obvious. Secondly, he had never experienced some kind of dark presentiment while his twin was away, a feeling that among other things reminded him of the chills he felt every time that their biological father was close. Was it possible that Yukio’s mission concerned Satan? He didn’t even want to think about it, and besides his brother would have surely told him if that had been the case. Or maybe he wouldn’t have to prevent him to follow.

He muttered between his teeth a few insults against that idiot that was his brother, and also against himself. How couldn’t he have realized that before? Mephisto’s reluctance should have been a warning bell. But he hadn’t noticed, because he was lost in the last, not so insignificant details that made that particular occasion differ from the others: his twin had never _kissed_ before disappearing into thin air. Rin felt a slight warmth colouring his cheeks. Double damn to that idiot. Him and his absurd ideas. He sighed. He had no right to take it on Yukio. For sure if the phone hadn’t rung things would have been different. The kiss would have happened anyway, but at least he would have known the reason behind that absurd gesture.

‘Damn Mephisto, always interrupting at the wrong times! You could have waited five more minutes!’ He found himself thinking, aware that his curses were empty and meaningless. But he had to blame someone or he would have had a nervous breakdown.

He had arrived at the dormitory almost without realizing it. By now he knew the way so well that he covered it almost automatically. He stared at the building, suddenly losing the thread of his thoughts. For a moment his vision blurred and he felt a strange sensation of fear invade him, together with the overwhelming urge to flee away. He ran inside and up the stairs as fast as he could, stopping only when he had closed the door behind his back. He stood motionless for a moment, his shoulders resting against the wood, panting and listening to that sudden terror slipping away quickly as it had arrived.

‘What the hell…?! Shit, even panic attacks now?!’ He thought to himself, closing his eyes and breathing to slow down his heartbeat. It all had happened so suddenly, for no reason, and it had overwhelmed him with huge force. And yet it all had seemed so… _alien_. Just like the dreams he had had that night. ‘What the hell is happening to me?’ Maybe it really was that bastard of his father who was playing him those tricks, taking advantage of the fact that Yukio wasn’t there. After all his brother was the only one who able to understand when something was wrong with him and who always managed to get Rin spit it out when he would have preferred to keep it to himself because not to show weakness. How many problems that system had prevented! But now his brother wasn’t there and the fact, considered in the light of Satan’s possible involvement, was almost frightening.

‘ _Rin, are you okay?_ ’ Kuro’s voice startled him.

The boy’s eyes widened, taken aback, and his eyes met worried about her familiar. “Oh, Kuro…Are you _crazy_?! You gave me a heart attack! It is already the second time today that you use the totally inappropriate methods with me!” He groaned, but he visibly relaxed. “Are you mad at me or something?! Don’t tell me you’re jealous because I think more about Yukio than about you!”

‘ _Don’t talk nonsense, Rin,_ ’ the almost offended answer was. ‘ _I’m worried about you. You’ve been acting strange since Yukio left. And something tells me that it isn’t only for that bad feeling that’s tormenting you. Anyway, this time I haven’t done anything wrong. I just called your name. You can’t blame me!_ ’

“Ugh, OK, you’re right. Sorry, I had no right to attack you as I did,” Rin muttered defeated, moving away from the door and walking towards the kitchen. “My nerves are on edge lately.”

‘ _Really? I hadn’t noticed!_ ’ The creature commented sarcastically, slowly waving his tails. ‘ _Why don’t you tell me what gives you so many thoughts? I could try to help!_ ’

“It’s nothing, really. Actually, it’s…really stupid.”

‘ _But you can’t get it out of your head, which means that it is not that stupid._ ’

“Exactly.” The half-demon get off his jacket resting it on the back of one of the chairs and grabbed his apron. “Even if I told you what it is, you wouldn’t know for sure how help me, so I prefer not to humiliate myself for nothing.”

‘ _Do as you want, but, if you want my advice, as stupid as the question might be, you’d better find someone who can help you with the topic and discuss it with them,_ ’ the familiar said nestling on the table. ‘ _Otherwise you might go crazy for real_.’

“That’s what I was planning to do,” the boy said slipping his usual clip in his hair. “And maybe I already know who I should turn to. I’ll talk to him tomorrow night at the party. And, Kuro, get off the table, I’ve got to cook there. “

Kuro, not without an annoyed puff, did as he was told and went to sit on one of the chairs. ‘ _I really hope that this person will help you, Rin. It isn’t good for you to remain so tense. It’s bad for your self-control_ ,’ he stated seriously. ‘ _But I guess that this speech only makes you more annoyed, doesn’t it? Well, let’s change the subject then. How are the preparations for this famous party going? Are you guys making progresses?_ ’

Rin smiled as he launched himself into his description of the afternoon as he began to prepare dinner for them both. That was what he loved about the creature, he always understood his moods without forcing him to express them aloud and he had the right words for every situation. And, most importantly, he knew how far he could pull the rope without breaking it. The demonic cat returned his smile with a cheerful expression and waved his tails. There could be all the secrets of this world between them, but it wouldn’t have influenced at all the complicity they shared. Because their relationship wasn’t made of words, but of shared sensations. There was no need for rational thinking, emotion was enough.


	5. Part V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys!
> 
> Sorry if it took me so long to write this chapter! I've been really busy and I also had lost some inspiration...but don't worry, I've found it again!
> 
> So, here goes the party and Rin receive some news...but they don't seem to be good ones!
> 
> Thanks to all the readers, it means a lot to me! I hope you will go on following the story!
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Ao no Exorcist or its characters!

_Blood. There was blood everywhere. The ground was slippery under his feet and he kept on stumbling on the stones. But was it his own crimson lymph that dirtied the ground? Impossible, there was too much, he wouldn’t have even been able to stand if he had lost so much blood, he knew it. And he was running, fear and anxiety burdening his chest, but the determination kept them at bay, chaining them in a tight grip. He was heading straight toward the source of all that redness, straight towards the horror. He would have looked at it again, he had to do it, he had no choice. Fighting, attacking, defending. Resisting. Going back alive. At any cost._

_The pools of blood were becoming more frequent. A stab in the stomach. He was well aware of whose the blood was. His companions, few, many, some, perhaps all. He had seen their faces just in that morning. Nervous faces, some of them a little pale, but still serious, determined,_ alive _. Just as he was now, he noted with bitter irony. But he had to do it, he had a mission, he couldn’t just flee with his life. He knew what he was getting into when he agreed to take the job. And anyway, even if he had refused, he wouldn’t have been able to avoid the inevitable for long. It was his fate._

_The blood seemed to become gradually more slippery as he approached his destination, as if it was trying to persuade him to desist. But he couldn’t give up, even if in that moment he wished he was somewhere else. He shook his head. In the end he had come there to protect the place where he wanted to be, for it he was ready to throw himself into the arms of what could become his grave. He hit rock a little more prominent and he found himself on the ground, rolling in the dirt and on the red puddles. Actually part of the blood was his, but it was nothing that he couldn’t handle. He got up quickly, though not without difficulty. No more thoughts about death. He would go back. He had promised._

_The end of the path. And there they were, he would have recognized their reflections even while expiring his last breath. Those damned blue flames, everywhere. Back, left, right, up, down. He was wrapped in a ball made of fire. His hands tightened on the cold metal. It was time to see whose would be the blood that would have extinguished them…_

Rin awoke with a start, the sound of a gunfire echoing in his ears. He was breathing hard and felt the panic and the adrenaline running through his veins, while the remains of the nightmare fled away from his memory in confused and blurred flashes. What the hell had happened? He looked around for a possible source of the noise he had heard, but in the room everything was quiet. The sun seeped through the window, the light weakened by that blanket of white clouds that covered the sky and that promised another snowfall, specifically made for Christmas Day. Nothing out of normal. Yet he would have sworn that what he heard was really a gunshot. Was it part of the dream that he was having as well?

He pushed the covers away, feeling more troubled than ever, and took his head in his hands. He didn’t like all those oddities at all. Apparently the forebodings weren’t enough, now he also had to deal with nightmares without sense that, among other things, he couldn’t completely recall. Something told him that if he had had an idea of what he had dreamed he could have understood what was happening to him. But it seemed that fate had other plans in for him and enjoyed tormenting him. He scoffed, looking around, and saw Kuro curled up on his desk, still asleep. Better that way, he told himself, at least this time he hadn’t worried his friend.

His eyes fell on the glass of the window. It was really early morning. ‘Going back to sleep is not an option. I couldn’t do it anyway, and even if I could I have no intention to risk having another damn dream like that one,’ he thought getting up to go take a shower. ‘I guess I’ll try to fill the time I earned in a constructive way. I could start choosing the menu for tonight party…’ And he added with a bit of sarcasm: ‘Unless some other incident happens of course!’

Luckily for him no unexpected news followed the bad awakening for the rest of the day. On the contrary, after he had reached his friends at the place chosen for the party, time passed quickly among the preparations and the many discussions that broke out, some due to the haste, others to the general agitation. There were some accidents, but nothing irreparable. Falling decorations, objects lost in the confusion, some broken dish, a frying pan forgotten on the stove.

Izumo enraged every time something wrong happened, scolding the poor soul who had committed the mistake for their carelessness or stupidity, while Shiemi did nothing but apologize to everyone, at times even for no reason. Bon was very busy arguing with Shima over and over again for one reason or another, and hushing Konekomaru who often began to sing out aloud without notice. Rin was carried away by the general frenzy, too dazed to do anything but focusing on the various tasks he was entrusted with, getting him his own dose of blames without complaint. After all that chaos prevented him from even thinking, fact that in those days could only make him happy. The only time he had to force himself out of that his state of automatism was when one of his companions, he couldn’t recall who was, had knocked over the vegetables that he had just finished slicing with so much care, but his only reaction was growling at him some insults and the order to instantly fix the mess he had done.

Yet, in spite all, when they were finally finished with the preparations in the late afternoon, the whole group had to admit that it was worth the troubles and the fatigue. The hall was shone with the colours of the light bulbs and the flames of the scented candles hung on the big tree, among red ribbons, gold stars and silver bands. The decked tables proudly showed their variety of neatly arranged foods and decorated in an original and lively way, while from the walls and ceiling hung garlands of mistletoe and hawthorn intertwined with coloured ribbons. In the space that wasn’t occupied by the dance floor smaller tables had been set to allow their guests to dine and chat while seated. It would have been a truly memorable party, that was the thought written on the happy smiles the six exchanged admiring the fruits of their hard work.

And the evening was a real success. All of the guests made compliments and comments of approval for both the food and the organization of the whole party. Shima and Konekomaru gladly welcomed all those beautiful words and even Bon, while responding politely, in some cases showed to be very pleased. Izumo instead remained impassive while declaring that it was the least they could do as the organizers, while by her side Shiemi blushed stating that it was nothing that special. Rin, for its part, tried to avoid the congratulations without succeeding and had to bear numerous digs by Shura before the woman decided that she was done tormenting him. Then the party began to proceed by itself and the discussions touched to other topics, thus freeing the group from the embarrassment of answering.

At some point the half-demon saw Mephisto hanging around in the crowd and chatting with almost all those who had the misfortune to bump into him. The boy raised an eyebrow, but he wasn’t too surprised by his presence. The madman was always around, even when no one needed him to be. How could it be possible that he _never_ had anything to keep himself busy? Rin was tired of having the demon around. The headmaster turned, feeling observed, and their eyes met, but the boy decided to ignore it and turned away. The last thing he wanted was to talk to that weirdo after he had stunned him with his talkativeness two nights before, preventing him from discovering where his brother had gone. He had no intention of allowing the other to ruin his evening, not now that he was starting to enjoy it a bit, finally being able to remove his dark thoughts.

Luckily for him, Mephisto didn’t stay long and less than an hour later he was gone. The boy cheered up at his lucky escape and decided to have a drink to celebrate it. He leaned against the edge of one of the tables, slowly sipping his cocktail and moving his gaze through the crowd, looking for his companions. He spotted quickly enough the two girls sitting at a table near the tree, busy chatting with Shura, while it took him several minutes to find the boys. At the end he saw Konekomaru with other students from their school that he knew only by sight, engaged in a competition of some sort. Bon and Shima were in a corner, apart from the guest, resting side by side against the wall. The pink-haired boy was talking cheerfully with one arm on the shoulder of his childhood friend, who instead was looking at his speaker quite upset, even if Rin couldn’t tell if it was because of their location or what Shima was saying. Apparently, after having stressed the whole group to get his dance floor, Shima hadn’t even bothered to use it since he seemed to have no intention of  leaving his classmate, the half-demon observed with an amused grin, even if he felt a little sorry for Bon. In that very moment the pink-haired boy pulled away from the his friend, leaning over to whisper something in his ear with a mischievous smile, and then hurried to point the tables, heading in that direction without waiting for a response. Ryuji waved a bit annoyed and looked up at the ceiling.

“Hey, Rin!” Shima called cheerful as he reached the tables, noticing his classmate. “How are things going to you?”

“Great. It’s really a show, we did an amazing job! Not that I had doubts about it,” Rin answered smiling. “It’s the best party I’ve ever seen.”

“True, it turned out really well. People are having fun, I can see it. Izumo with her despotic attitude made us do our best! By the way, the food is _fantastic_. Congratulations to our official chef!” His friend agreed enthusiastically. “I am more than satisfied. But why are you here all alone? Why don’t you join me and Ryuji? I was just about to bring him something to drink. Who knows, maybe he’ll loosen a bit!  He doesn’t let go even on an occasion like this one.”

“Come on, don’t exaggerate. I just tried to give my best. As for Bon, you know him much better than me, and you know how he is. He wants to maintain a certain image of himself,” the half-demon laughed. “Thanks, anyway, but I was thinking about going to join Shiemi and Izumo. I haven’t had the opportunity to thank them for the help they have given me in the kitchen yet.”

“You go with the girls, huh, Rin? That’s the right thing!” The pink -haired boy said, patting him on the shoulder in a sign of approval. “That’s what I should be doing myself, but instead I’m stuck in a corner with Bon. I’m not really honouring my reputation at the moment…But still, you also have to make sacrifices at times. After all even that big-head isn’t bad as a company, even I’d be more pleased if he accepted to come and dance with me…” He sighed. “So please, make some good conquest for me as well!”

“Shima , what the heck?! It’s not what you think!” He protested, blushing slightly. “You idiot.”

“Come on, don’t lie to me! Not if we are talking about two beautiful young ladies such as them. Well I should say three, counting Shura. Who wouldn’t include her in his goals? Sure, maybe she’s a bit too old for you, but, trust me, mature women are often the best! So don’t tell me that you just want to talk to them innocently! I don’t believe it. Especially with Shiemi…” Shima gave him worrisome grin, starting to fill a glass. “I know how these things work. And, come on, it is a party, Rin! You must to let loose a bit!”

“Yeah, yeah, great. Think whatever you want…By the way, I have something to ask you since you state to be so experienced in that area…” Rin muttered, hurrying to change the subject. “In your opinion, if a person kisses you what can it mean?”

“It depends on _how_ she kisses you,” the other answered stressing the adverb.

He blushed, more embarrassed than ever. “Er, well, you know…on the mouth,” he stammered uneasily. “But nothing extremely… _elaborated_ …I mean, just a peck!”

“What idiotic questions are you asking? It obvious! It’s because she likes you, Rin. How much exactly I can’t tell, it depends on the passion that she put in the kiss, but at least she has a nice crush on you. If you want to get serious, you always try to make the first kiss more feeling than act. It’s the best way to express what you really felt better than with words. Come on, you can’t be so naive and not understand that!” The pink -haired boy teased. Then he leaned toward him. “So, tell me…Who is the brave damsel?”

“No one!” Rin cried out with far too much of a hurry. He pushed his friend, looking away. “The reason of the kiss cannot be that, there must be another one. This is serious, Shima,” he went on, lowering his voice, uncomfortable. “This…This person would never, ever have done such a thing. Yet they did. But it cannot be because they feel something for me, simply because they cannot feel that way! But I can’t understand how such a thing could have happened.”

Shima looked at him intently for a moment, the smile vanished from his face. “You can’t say that this person didn’t mean it, Rin! You can never know what goes on inside people’s head” he stated seriously after a moment of silence. “I honestly don’t know what else could be associate with a gesture like that if romance. If it had been a kiss on the cheek, it could have been many other things, but I doubt you’d have even raised the issue in that case. So I stand my ground. And, if you want me to tell you what I really think, well, you’re so much disturbed because they know I’m right but you don’t want to admit it. If the person who kissed you really should have never done it, then what they feel for you isn’t something common. If they had the courage to do it despite all the risks, it means that they must really love you.”

“But…But…No, it can’t be!” The half-demon exclaimed, shaking his head stubbornly. “Come on, there must be another reason! If it isn’t…it’s too… _wrong_.”

“Rin, can you tell me who this person was to make you upset? Calm down, maybe it isn’t so terrible as you see it!” The other insisted. “What, was he a guy? Come on, it’s not exactly what one would expect, but it’s not the end of the world! And…”

“No, no, Shima, you can’t understand. I never asked, just forget it!”

“But…”

“I said leave it alone!” Rin realized that he had almost yelled the last sentence and quickly lowered his eyes, troubled. After all Shima was just trying to help him, he knew it, but couldn’t tell him that the person who had kissed him was his twin. And it wasn’t just to protect himself, he also didn’t want to cause troubles Yukio. “Shima, listen…” He spoke again, more calmly looking for an excuse to end the conversation in a peaceful manner, but he was interrupted by the ringing of his phone. He hurried to take it out, mentally thanking whoever was calling for saving him from that damn conversation. “Okumura Rin speaking.”

“Rin?” Mephisto’s voice reached him from the other side of the line, with a serious and almost severe tone that didn’t suit it at all. “Sorry to bother you, but you should come immediately. It’s a quite urgent matter.”

The boy felt shivers of anxiety run down his spine. “Has…Has something happened?” He managed to ask in a faint voice, hoping not to hear the answer he expected.

“Your brother has returned from his mission. It seems that there had been some… _complications_. But I’ll explain better in person. Join me at the hospital,” the demon said trying to sound reassuring, but it was clear that he was also in a hurry.

Rin froze. Hospital?! Complications?! No, no, no! “Mephisto, no tricks. What the fuck…” He began, ready to pour out on his interlocutor the desperation that had begun to burden his breath.

“Not on the phone, Rin. Trust me, I do it for your good. And I’ve never been more serious. I need to talk in person. Come here. Now.” And communication was abruptly cut off.

The half-demon stood completely still for a moment, his ear pressed on the phone, trying to process the new information, but it all seemed to lead to only one thought: run to the hospital and see Yukio.

“Rin , are you okay?” Shima asked noticing his agitation.  “Who was it?”

“I’m sorry, but I have no time now. I’ll explain another time, it’s an emergency,” he said quickly shoving the phone back in his pocket. “I must go, inform others for me!” And without waiting for an answer he turned and ran away, leaving his friend dumbfounded with his mouth open in an attempt to argue. His heart was pounding loudly and he could hear the blood running in his ears. It would have been infinitely better having to keep on that uncomfortable conversation with Shima rather than being saved by the damn phone call.


	6. Part VI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys!
> 
> Once again I have to apologize because it took me ages to upload. I'm really really busy and I'm also having some nasty personal problem. I hope you will forgive me! Don't worry, I may take a lot to upload but I'm going to finish this story. We have two more chapters, then it will be over.
> 
> I'll try to upload sooner next time! Thanks a lot to all the redears!
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Ao no Exorcist or its characters!

The white corridor of the hospital was crowded by doctors and nurses, who came in and out the door of the operating room. From time to time someone approached them and whispered words that wanted to sound like encouragements, but the only thing that Rin was able to hear was his own voice mentally screaming all the heaviest and most colourful curses he knew. Seated next to him, Mephisto prattled as usual, although this time he was trying to be serious, but to the boy’s ears those speeches remained always and only useless chatter, not worthy of attention. He had cut all the ties with the outside world half an hour before when, after running for all the way that separated him from the hospital, without taking a break, had arrived at his destination sweaty and breathless, with an uncomfortable feeling of nausea. The demon was waiting for him at the entrance and immediately led him to the operating room. Once there he had forced him to sit down and had explained as gently as possible that Yukio was under the knife and that he had suffered from very nasty burns.

Yukio, surgery, burns. After those words he hadn’t heard anything else. His body had collapsed in the chair and he hadn’t even bothered to look at his interlocutor, almost oblivious of his presence. So it was true, he hadn’t been wrong when he had suggested that the mission of his brother was about Satan. That was the only reason that could explain the type of injury that the idiot had suffered. He couldn’t believe that his brother had gone to fight with their biological father without saying anything to him. The emotions had followed one another in flashes, dancing within him in a chaotic repetition and overlapping. Anger, despair, pain, then anger again, fear, frustration, hatred, anxiety. He couldn’t control them, and those had changed faster and faster until they had been sucked in the void in which they themselves had dug him into. A complete apathy had spread over his body and mind, and he had felt as if his limbs and his soul had fallen asleep, becoming numb to everything. It was almost hard to believe.

His thoughts moved on with a maddening slowness, connecting little by little the various pieces of the puzzle. The feeling he had felt was for real the proximity of their father, who this time was threatening not only him but Yukio as well, his panic attacks were his twin’s emotions, the visions and nightmares what the other had seen and experienced. It was all so _simple_. Yet he, like an idiot, hadn’t been able to grasp it. That realisation didn’t cause any motion within him, but the boy was not surprised. In that moment he didn’t feel anything at all. The only thing he could do was keeping his gaze fixed on the door, waiting for someone to give him the news that could awake him from his stupor. And then, once again, there would have been chaos in his heart, perhaps a battle that would have consumed him. He could almost hear them, his own flames, lurking beneath the surface, ready to go wild together with his broken feelings.

He shot a brief glance to Mephisto, who had finally stopped talking and was now staring at him with a hint of worry, as if he had grasped his last thought. Rin looked at him with a blank expression and then went back to stare at the wall in front of him. The demon was free to think whatever he wanted, he didn’t care. He wished that the other left him. He needed to be alone, to be able to investigate further the odd situation. He was sitting on a chair waiting for _Death_. It wasn’t so unfamiliar to him, but this time it wasn’t his own end that was threatening to come, but it was someone else’s. It had never happened to him before. The people he had seen dying had left him without warning, giving him the chance to deny the inevitable until the very end. But in that moment, in that corridor that smelled of meds and diseases, it was almost as if he sitting next that cloaked figure and witnessing all its terrible majesty and grandeur, so present in their lives and yet so mysterious and elusive. It was as if both he and Death itself were waiting for the same news. The difference was that It knew exactly how it would turn out, while he was lost in a sea of uncertainty, without a beacon or a star to show him the right way, helplessly carried by the tide.

The door of the operating room swung opened again, but this time a figure quite different from the usual doctors emerged, green hair a bit messy and clothes stained with blood. The boy felt Mephisto getting immediately up and approaching the newcomer, while he was still trying to put into focus the identity of the guy who had just appeared in the corridor. Wait a second. Green hair, strange haircut, odd clothes, long black nails. _Amaimon_. What the heck was that stupid troublemaker doing there?

“They are done, Aniue,” the green-haired demon announced with pointing the threshold he had just crossed. “It has been a really good fight, even though I haven’t understood much of what they were doing. But I don’t think they had done anything so useful…”

“Amaimon, stop rambling and explain yourself,” the headmaster ordered, a hue of irritation in his voice, shooting a worried glance towards Rin. At times his brother really couldn’t speak properly. From what he had said someone could have thought that Yukio had died in surgery. But it couldn’t be, because otherwise the expression on the other demon’s face would have been different. Or at least he hoped so. “What did they say?”

“They cursed a little, speaking among them, and then turned to me and told me to tell you that they have done everything in their power, but that the Yukio’s conditions were serious and that they don’t know how it will end,” Amaimon explained, chewing slowly one of his nails and turning to look at the half-demon as well. “He’s in a coma and they can’t tell if and when he’ll wake up. Our father has been pretty rough with…”

His elder brother shut him up with one hand before he could finish, exasperated. “Keep these inappropriate comments for you, Amaimon, we aren’t interested in hearing them. Go to see where they are taking him and stay there, I’ll join you later. And, please, behave,” he ordered firmly. “Rin is already upset and I’d rather not to see other flames for a while, thanks.”

The other nodded whispering something to him quietly, then turned around and went back into the operating room. Mephisto let out another sigh and approached Rin, who had not moved from his position, helping him on his feet and taking him by the arm. “Come, come, you need some air. And especially an explanation.”

The boy nodded and let the other drag him along the corridors towards the roof, feeling numb. He had heard what Amaimon had said, but those words had come to his ears in the form of unintelligible sounds, almost as if his mind had rejected them in order to remain unaware of the truth for another while. The cold air hit him as soon as they got out of the building and it succeeded in bringing him back to his senses. He broke free from the demon and slowly went to lean against the metal railing. The warmth of his fingers instantly disappear at contact with the chill material and the feeling of coldness that had been growing inside him seemed to expand, giving back a colour, even if a pale and sick one, to void he felt inside.

He turned to face the other and, after taking a deep breath, he forced himself to ask in a faint voice: “What was Amaimon doing in the operating room? The blood on his clothes was…Yukio’s, wasn’t it?”

The headmaster nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. “I was a bit perplexed because the group of exorcists that I had sent on the mission should have contacted me early this morning, but I didn’t receive any news from them. Since, as you surely have already understood by yourself, our father was involved, and with him you can never know, I thought that I should prepare for the worst and I started organizing recovery team. As a precaution, I decided to send Amaimon first in the late morning to look for them. I needed to understand what had exactly happened before sending my men out. He found the group, or at least what was left of them, scattered around the woods where they had camped last night. There were pools of blood everywhere.”

He paused for a moment, approaching the boy who didn’t take his eyes off him, literally hanging from his lips. There was a weird emotion in Rin’s gaze, but, much to his disappointment, he couldn’t identify it. “It must have been a spectacular battle. I’m just sorry about having lost some valid exorcist. In the field where the last battle has taken place, everything was burnt. Amaimon found your brother right in the middle of that blackness, passed out, covered in blood and ashes, clothes in pieces. And next to him there was the body that Satan had possessed, with two bullets placed in it with incredible accuracy. Every time I’m amazed by Yukio’s firmness. Especially since he’s just a kid. My Otouto said that for a moment, when he has lifted him up, he has opened his eyes. He called your name, asking if you were okay. Amaimon told him that you were fine and he passed out again. He hasn’t regained consciousness after that.”

“Yukio…asked for me?” Rin stuttered, feeling the emotions overwhelming him, but he fought them back with impatience along with the tears that had come his eyes. “That idiot! He was kicking the bucket and got worried about me! Bloody idiot!”

“He was surely thinking about you when he has pulled the trigger, Rin. I told him that he shouldn’t go, that he wasn’t ready to face our enemy yet. But he’s so stubborn, you know better than me how he can be. He takes this battle as a personal matter and I can’t blame him for that. After all he’s Satan’s son as much as we are. I thought that I had no right to stop him if he wanted to, even if I guess that now you hate me,” the demon sighed, his eyes focusing on the maze of buildings in front of them. “But I won’t feel guilty. I warned him, he knew the risks of the job.”

The half-demon fought the urge to jump on him and cut his throat. How could he say those things and remain so calm?! His brother had almost got killed in that fucking mission because he had decided to let him go despite everything and now that clown was simply washing his hands of it? He wanted to kill him. He took another deep breath, trying to regain his self-control. He couldn’t let his anger control him, he was too vulnerable in that moment. He swallowed all the insults that had come to his lips. “How is he now? What did the doctors say?” He asked instead, his voice trembling. He had to concentrate on Yukio, he would have kicked the principal’s sorry ass later. And Amaimon’s too.

“He is in a coma, unfortunately. Honestly, it’s a miracle that he is quite unharmed, since he had literally been burnt alive. The thing is that his body has been forced to endure an extreme effort. That why he hasn’t woken up,” said Mephisto. “Obviously humans think like _humans_ and in these situations they always say they don’t know if the patient will wake up, but, as I said, the human parameters are not suitable for people like us.”

“But Yukio is human, dammit! Physically speaking at least!” Rin exploded, exasperated by the other’s calm tone. He was sick of that nonsense. He wanted to see his twin. “It was because he wasn’t physically strong enough that he hasn’t inherited the Satan’s flames, he himself explained it to me! How can you say that he can’t be treated like a human being?”

“You are reasoning like them, I knew it. It seems that your appearance hasn’t taught you anything about how demons work. But it doesn’t surprise me.” A smirk appeared on the headmaster’s face. “It’s not only about physical bodies. And then, moreover, your brother is no longer as weak as he was when you were children, the years of training have made him much stronger. You must have noticed. Shall I tell you how much has he changed? Good. Let’s say that, if you were to decide now who you would take the our father’s inheritance, well, maybe it wouldn’t be you ~”

Rin held to hold back a surprised exclamation, but he recovered immediately with a gesture of irritation. His speaker was talking nonsense again. And he sounded as if he was teasing him. “But this isn’t the case, so get quickly to the point. My patience is running short,” he growled menacingly. “And I want to see Yukio.”

“What I’m trying to tell you is that your brother’s life isn’t in danger. If Satan had wanted to kill him, he would have done it immediately, but apparently he wanted him alive for some obscure reason. Maybe he was testing how strong he has become, I don’t know. Anyway, this isn’t the point. Those flames also belong to your brother, Rin, and it doesn’t matter if he can’t catch fire as you do, try not to forget that this ~” Mephisto turned and walked toward the door. “By the way, you cannot see him now, you have to wait until tomorrow morning or maybe even later. If you want my advice, it’s best if you don’t come and see him until he wakes up. It would only hurt you. So you really should wait. It might take a few days, a week, but not much longer. Trust me and don’t listen to what the doctors say.” He opened the glass door turning to face him again. “Go home, Rin, and let it all out as you please, but try to avoid making a mess if it’s possible. I’m already far too busy with your brother, it would be very annoying having to run after you, too. Amaimon and I will take care of Yukio, even if you may not find this reassuring. I’ll call you as soon as there is some news. Will you do as I told you?”

The boy looked at him incredulously. Did he really expect him to go away submissive as a trained pet? To go home calmly as if nothing had happened and he was fine? The only thing he wanted now was to destroy the world to take out what he was feeling. He wanted to go to Hell and kick the bastard who had hurt his brother so much. He wanted to exterminate him and all his demons, those disgusting creatures that had ruined so many lives, and hit over their dead bodies over and over until the ground had been soaked their filthy blood. However, when he tried to find within himself the anger to yell at those things in the other’s face, he found only a weary resignation.

“I will.” The words came out almost against his will, the only ones that his mouth seemed to be able to say. After all Mephisto was right. Even if he had started to take his fury out on everything his hands could reach nothing would have changed. Maybe it would have even made things worse than they were.

The demon looked satisfied with his answer and disappeared inside, leaving him alone with his confused thoughts and emotions. Rin stood for a moment, feeling his legs giving out, unable to decide whether to let go or not. At the end he shook his head and forced him to stay calm. He had at least to get back to the dorm. Once there he would have been free to do whatever he would feel like doing. So, winning the last moment of hesitation and looking at the landscape one more time, he felt ready to leave the hospital.

The road back to the dormitory seemed endless. He felt the rush and the impatience growing at every step, while his body kept on getting heavier, crushed under the weight of fatigue and impotence, which didn’t help him at all. His thoughts flew for a moment to the party where he had left her classmates, wondering if they had understood the reason behind his sudden departure. Not that he cared. He just needed to keep my mind busy. He noticed with a bit of irony that he almost missed the apprehension that foreboding which had haunted him had given him in two days. It made him anxious, it made him feeling ill, but it was better than that state of painful exhaustion that had sucked away his desire to fight.

Crossing the threshold of his dorm was a real relief. The boy dropped his jacket on the ground and went to straight to his bedroom, without even bothering to turn the light on. He groped for his bed, almost in frenzy, until his fingers touched the soft fabric of the sheets. At that point the little control he had left disappeared. Almost without realizing it he found himself on his knees, his face buried in blankets, while the bitter tears he had been holding until that moment rolled down on his cheeks with growing fury, in the vain attempt to wash away the mixed emotions that enveloped him. Why, why those things had to happen always and only to him? Why had he to be surrounded by a bunch of idiots who almost seemed to have fun in putting their lives on the line every time they had the chance, just to protect him? Was it possible that they did not understand the guilt he felt for what they decided to risk? Had they ever wondered what he thought of their acts? His miserable life was not worth their sacrifices. He had repeated it millions of times, he had shouted it angrily and had whispered it with tears in his eyes, but they hadn’t listened to him. And for this he had hated them, feeling guilty at the same time for it.

Rin clenched his fists and hit the blankets with force, lifting his face wet with tears. Yukio was the worst, even worse than Shiro under that point of view. He had clearly seen what had happened to their adoptive father, he had even blamed him, perhaps not so unfairly as he had tried to affirm, he had told him that he hated him for what had happened, and yet that big head had refused to abandon him to his fate. And this because obviously, even if his brother had been sincere when he said that he despised him, the love that the younger felt for him overcame all the resentment and led him to want only his good at any cost. And this wasn’t fair. Yukio couldn’t pay for a curse that was his and his alone. His twin had nothing to do with it. And the worst thing was that his brother seemed to be convinced of the opposite, claiming that it did concern them both in the same way. But he was the monster, not the young exorcist, nobody could argue that. Or maybe they could, maybe it was not so obvious since even Shiro and Mephisto appeared to agree with Yukio.

He buried his face in the now damp sheets again. It should have been him the one in that hospital bed, not Yukio. He was tempted to wish that he had gone and died in that mission, taking their biological father with him. After all it was the only way to bring serenity back in the life of people around him. Too much blood had been spilled, wasted for something that wasn’t worth it and that would never be. The only way he had to redeem himself was to end the war once and for all and disappear. The idea hit him hard. Maybe that was what he should do, go away, far away from everything and everyone, until he would be ready to face the final battle. Maybe he needed to run away from the protective walls that had been erected around him, and take the weight of responsibility on his shoulders, without intermediaries. Yet he couldn’t, he wasn’t brave enough, he wasn’t strong enough. He couldn’t live without those people. And his weakness disgusted him because he was the cause of their pain.

He suddenly felt something warm against her legs. The boy lowered his stare and his blue eyes met Kuro’s yellow ones. The latter’s look was filled with sadness and understanding.

 _‘Rin, I’m sorry,’_ the demon cat whispered. He had guessed what had happened as Rin had entered the house, but he had chose to give his friend some time to recover. But seeing that the situation hadn’t improved, in the end he had decided to approach him to offer his support.

The half-demon bent over and hugged him tightly, instinctively looking for some comfort in his warm body. “Kuro! Why, dammit, _why_? I can’t even…Yukio, don’t…” He sobbed desperate. “I can’t lose him too! I can’t live without that idiot!”

The creature rubbed his head slowly against his friend’s chest, trying to sooth his pain. ‘ _Is he that bad?_ ’ he asked in a gentle tone. ‘ _What did the doctors say?_ ’

“He is…in the hospital. In coma. It was Satan, Kuro, that bastard! I knew it, I felt that there was something that…that…” Rin gasped, shaking his head. “Mephisto is there with him, he prevented me from seeing him, he says…He said that Yukio will wake up soon, but how the hell can _he_ know! He spoke only nonsense…He said that Yukio is a _demon_ , but fuck, he is _not_! I…I don’t understand! I just know that my brother is locked up in a shitty place, with his head somewhere else…What if…What if Satan has taken him as he always try to with me?!” The panic came over him, cutting off even more his already short breath. “I must do something! I…I…”

‘ _Rin, calm down. If it was really as you say you’d have noticed and you know it too_ ,’ Kuro interrupted gently but firmly. ‘ _So don’t panic about that, it doesn’t help your state of mind._ ’ He waited for the other to nod and then said: ‘ _I don’t see why you shouldn’t trust what Mephisto says. He can be a bit crazy sometimes, but if there is somebody who always knows what’s going on that’s him. If he says that Yukio will wake up, then it means that he will. About the other matter, we need to know exactly what he meant by saying that your brother is a demon. But right now, it doesn’t matter. We’ll leave it for later._ ’

“You…You’re right, Kuro. I’m exaggerating now. But I’m so upset! I don’t think I’ve ever felt so bad in my life!” Rin moaned, clenching his fists frustrated. “These things always happen because of _me_! Even when I avoid getting in troubles someone always gets hurt!”

‘ _If you don’t stop blaming yourself for something you haven’t done you would never feel better. Rin, it’s not your fault. Yukio knew what he was going to face, but he chose to go anyway. He’s furious with Satan as much as you are. The bastard ruined the lives of you both, don’t forget it_ ,’ the cat scolded. Then he his tone softened. ‘ _Yukio would never want you to feel so guilty, and Shiro would have never wanted that either. The people who care about you just want you to stay serene and to help you to fulfil your goal. But you cannot do it all alone, Rin, face it. Let us help you. I understand how you feel, but your friends willingly make those sacrifices and then they are also fighting for their own lives, since Satan is a threat for many people here in Assiah._ ’

“But I don’t want them to do it!” The half-demon retorted. “I don’t want them to be in danger!’

The creature sighed, exasperated by his friend’s stubbornness. ‘ _You can’t force them to stop. It would be unfair. But it’s useless to discuss this right now. You tired and still shock, and above all you are even less objective than usual._ ’ He broke free from the hug and jumped on the bed. ‘ _Come on, undress and try to get some sleep. We’ll talk again tomorrow morning. If you want I’ll go to talk to Mephisto and see if I can make him something reasonable out of his useless chatter. But you’re my priority now, and you need rest._ ’

“I’m not sure if I can sleep,” Rin wearily sighed, while getting up and starting to undress. “But I guess I should try. I’m dead tired, you’re right.” He wiped his face on his sleeve. “God, look at me. I’m pathetic, aren’t I?”

‘ _No, you’re just really worried about someone you care about_ ,’ Kuro answered shaking his head and giving him a smile. ‘ _And this proves that you’re anything but a monster._ ’

He had to force himself to smile back, but he was feeling truly grateful. He didn’t know what he would have done without the demonic cat. He finished putting on his pyjamas and let himself fall on the bed, curling up on his side. “You’ll stay here with me until I wake up? I’m afraid of the nightmares I could have. And I don’t want to be alone,” he muttered reaching out for the creature.

‘ _Sure, Rin. But stop thinking now, close your eyes. I’ll watch over you_ ,’ the reassuring answer was. ‘ _Don’t worry, everything will be fine soon._ ’

“I hope so,” the boy said not really persuaded, closing his eyes, hands gripping at the covers. He tried to focus on Kuro’s warm fur and on his regular breathing to chase away all the emotions that still haunted him. He just wished for the oblivion of sleep, even if it was a temporary relief, he needed it too much. He had realized that he was more tired than he had expected. The stress of those two days and the turmoil of the last few hours had fallen on him with their weight, wearing him out. The darkness enveloped him quickly, dragging him away in its disturbing uniformity, but blessing him with dreamless night.


	7. Part VII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone!
> 
> I'm so, so sorry for taking so long. I really hadn't have much time to write during these months...But I swear that I'll try to post the last chapter with the next two weeks! 
> 
> A huge thank you to who has waited for me to update!
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> *Disclaimer*: I don't own Ao no Exorcist or its characters!

The following day passed like a blur and Rin came to wonder if he had really woken up. He didn’t want to see anyone or do anything. Despite the Kuro’s urging, he refused to eat, claiming that he was feeling nauseous, and, after having tried to find something that could keep himself distracted, he gave up and curled up in a corner of the bed where he remained motionless for almost all the time, knees brought to his chest and his chin resting on them. His blue eyes were lost in the void in front of him and, as it had happened at the hospital the night before, he was wrapped in utter apathy. The demonic cat had tried in every way to make him move, but he was eventually forced to give up and, after having stalling in the room for a while casting continuous worried glances at his friend, he had opted to leave the dorm, deciding that Rin wasn’t a danger for himself and that his presence was just a trouble for the boy’s pain.

The half-demon almost didn’t notice that he had been left alone, but after all it did’ot matter. Considering the state in which he was, he would have felt just as isolated as if he was in the middle of nowhere even if he had been in the thickest of crowds. The little part of him that noticed the creature’s disappearance felt glad, because at that moment he had no desire to interact, especially to resume the discussion from the night before.

He let out a sigh. He was so pathetic, no it was much more, he felt _sorry_ for himself. He couldn’t go on like that until Yukio woke up, assuming that he trusted the Mephisto’s words and that he believed that his brother would eventually come out of his coma. Yet, even if he considered more than ridiculous that the state he was in, he had neither the strength nor the will to change it, at least not that day. He still needed to get over the events that had fallen on him without notice. And then there was that damned uncertainty that kept him between hope and despair, consuming him more and more with the infinite slowness of the passing seconds. He should react, he knew that if he had stayed there, shut away from the world, he wouldn’t have obtained nothing but feeling even worse. There was a voice in his head that repeated it as a chant, the voice of reason perhaps. But after all he had never listened to it, apart from in very specific circumstances.

The clouded sky lit the room with a gray glow, which, Rin noticed, couldn’t have been more depressing. Usually he hated that kind of weather, he always found some not too friendly epithet to describe it, but that day the sky was the only thing that showed him some kind of silent understanding of his feelings as it stood, deprived of the beauty of its intense and ethereal blue, robbed of the light of its star. He was almost laughable. God, now he was also becoming melodramatic. But any excuse was good to think about anything else, any mental effort, even the stupidest and the most useless, was welcome if he could postpone for a while the urgent and inevitable confrontation with reality. Perhaps that was the most troublesome thing for him, the inevitability of some events that almost with scorn made vain all his attempts to change their course. And the most annoying of all things was death itself. That bastard had never cared about his suffered efforts, going past him without labour and forcing him to witness its triumph. Why shouldn’t it do the same that time? Why would it let his prey go only because there was a madman who was convinced that it wouldn’t happen? Rin had his doubts. If death was fated to win, then it would happen, no matter what Mephisto said. That was all. Or, at least, in theory it should have been. Because he wouldn’t accept it, not again.

Rivers of memories invaded him along with the pain that they always brought with them and that they would always carried. Everyone could have forgiven him, he could have even forgiven himself, but he would never be able to get rid of that chain of suffering. Voices, flames, a pool of blood. The night he had lost the person who had allowed him to stay alive. The greatest act of love and, at the same time, perhaps the most unforgivable mistake of a life that he would have liked to see intertwined with his and Yukio’s for more time, but that had been torn away from them unfairly and far too soon. Or maybe that was the punishment for what he was, the retaliation for the sin that flowed through his veins in the form of blood. Watching as the people he cared for were taken away from him one by one, seeing them die relentlessly and in vain for him. That thought shook once again his inner numbness with a painful shudder. He put his arms around his knees and squeezed them even more into his chest. Why did his mind always and only end in that direction? There had to be a reason. Or maybe Kuro was right and he did nothing but self-pitying, thinking that it would do the other’s good when the truth was that it was nothing more than a mere act of selfishness.

He shook his head in exasperation. He didn’t want to think about it. He tried to direct his thoughts elsewhere, looking for any subject that wasn’t related to death and his present suffering. But his thoughts always returned to the same spot, no matter how much he groped among them trying to chase them away. His brother. Perhaps he was beginning to understand why Mephisto had prevented him from seeing him. Just imagining Yukio covered in blood, his clothes black, his flesh burnt and torn, motionless with his eyes shut made him nauseous. Seeing him in that state, really knowing that those wounds were real and seeing him unconscious would have made him mad with rage and pain. He would have blindly done something reckless for sure. He couldn’t say that the headmaster was so wrong. But, on the other hand, seeing him still _alive_ , even if not awake, would have perhaps nurtured his faint but stubborn hopes.

Almost instinctively he thought the last time he had seen his twin. They were so bloody close, too close. He was lost in his brother’s eyes, that damned ocean blue eyes that often left him astonished with their impassivity and that, just as frequently, surprised him with their flashes of passion, as fleeting as intense. He felt himself blush and instinctively buried his face in the sleeves of his pyjamas. What the hell was he thinking?! Yukio was his twin brother, he shouldn’t have that kind of reactions while thinking about him. But he was also the brother who had _kissed_ him. And Shima had rightly said the night before, there was only one reason that could explain that gesture, and little it mattered if in theory it was wrong in their case.

He muttered a few curses between his teeth. Why were those ideas in his mind now? They were almost worse than the pathetic thoughts that have preceded them. And yet he knew that he couldn’t just forget that issue, no matter how much inconvenient it was. They would have to face it sooner or later. Unless Yukio had lost his memory due to some complication of coma, removing the day of his departure. But it would have been too convenient to be real, it would have made it too easy for him to pretend that nothing had happened. Assuming that he could have really pretended to have forgotten about it.

Another sigh escaped from his lips. Maybe it wasn’t a bad idea to exploit his unnatural calm to reflect in a vaguely objective on the matter. And then he had nothing better to do. His memories flew back to that last scene, to their breaths mingled, to the strange expression in Yukio’s eyes, to the cold lips pressed against his in a passionate kiss that lasted at the same time for a lifetime and for a moment. He hadn’t had felt the taste of rotten that usually came together with guilt, but just the thrill of the forbidden, the dizziness of breaking a basic but still conventional rule. But it wasn’t just that. There was a lot more, a lightness and a sweetness, a _pure_ sincerity that badly suited a sin so rejected by both religious and civil laws, and that had left him with a sense of uncertainty and confusion, but not of guilt. Could that really be so _wrong_?

He raised his head again, looking out of the window. The light hurt his eyes, which told him that he had kept them shut for longer than he had thought. The sun had already passed the noon. Time hadn’t passed as slowly as he was expecting. He had been sitting for hours without changing position and the numbness of his limbs seemed to confirm it. Maybe he had even dozed off at some point. He let out a small laugh. He was the one who teased his sibling if the other spent his days sitting at a desk to study or complete reports. Yukio at least always busied himself with something useful and didn’t waste time as he was doing.

If the roles were reversed, if it had been him to be in a coma, the young exorcist wouldn’t have been for sure sitting on the bed in despair. He would have thrown himself into his job or in his studies, even if he was sure that even the genius wouldn’t have been able to detach his thoughts from his brother lying in a hospital bed. And that comforted him. Maybe Yukio would have insisted on seeing him, even if Mephisto would have advised him not to. He wouldn’t have cared about the stated of his twin. After all it had always been the younger who took care of him when he came home full of scratches and bruises and then it was at it too. He would have even forced the nurses to give him permission to take care of his therapy and change his bandages. He could see him sitting in his room next to the bed, with books and those damn reports, busy with preparing a lesson or correcting his class assignments, and occasionally raising his head to give him some sarcastic comment. It wouldn’t have been the first time. He himself would never be able to do it. All that calm, though perhaps it was only apparent, in front of the shadow of death. Yukio had his own peculiar way to face fear and despair. And having Death sitting next to a hospital corridor wouldn’t have changed that. Even now, in a sense, his twin was taking care of him with those memories, perhaps so insignificant to external eyes but that were all for them. There had never been big demonstrations of affection or fanciful words between them, but small gestures and glances filled with meaning. And now more than ever Rin had become conscious of it.

He couldn’t let himself go to waste in that way. He was the eldest, he should have been a good example to his brother, not the other way around. Too bad that he was always the one who needed to be taught. But that time there was no Yukio to come and get him out of bed, so he had to do it by his own. It was his chance to prove that he was strong and that he knew how to control his emotions. It was one more important step towards the acquisition of the control he needed to defeat their enemy.

He removed his arms from his knees and tried to get up, but his body protested greatly, all numb. He snorted but decided to wait a moment and reached for his hair clip. He felt a bit hungry actually. At the party he hadn’t eaten much and so it was basically a day that didn’t touch food. And of course Kuro had to be pretty hungry too. He would cook him his favourite dish for when the cat had returned. His friend deserved it, his presence had been essential as always.

He made another attempt to get out of the bed, this time successful, and headed towards the kitchen. It was time to be helpful, he had been numb for too long. Later he would call Mephisto to see if he had news. And the next day maybe he could ring to his friends and explain to them the situation. But it was better to do one thing at a time. Firstly he would cook, then he would deal with all the rest.

 

During the night, the clouds had finally disappeared, allowing the winter sun to reveal his pale light in the morning sky. The cold air came in through the half-open window of the twins’ bedroom, carrying the smell of wet snow in and some rays of light. Rin had taken seriously his decision not to let the apathy got the better of him and he had worked hard to keep himself busy, cleaning the dorm from top to bottom and occupying the rest of the time doing culinary experiments of various kinds with Kuro.

At that moment the two were sitting in front of the oven, chatting and watching the cake that the half-demon had just put in rising. The demonic cat was trying to look cheerful, hoping to somehow put the boy in a better mood and to distract him from his sad thoughts, and he had been relieved to see that Rin’s spirits were visibly higher, even though he was still enveloped in a persistent state of melancholy. The fact that that day was his and his brother’s birthday surely didn’t make it easier. The half-demon himself was doing his best not to fall apart again. He wasn’t in the mood to have company, so he had declined with a sincere apology his friends’ invitations to go out to celebrate, but he had decided that he would spend a beautiful day with Kuro, celebrating this occasion in the family as he had planned to do with Yukio. He couldn’t help wishing that his twin was with him, but he tried to comfort himself thinking that soon the other would wake up and that they would have the chance to make it up for the lost occasions.

At the end of the previous day, Mephisto had telephoned him to tell him that he had moved the young exorcist from the hospital to his house because his condition seemed to have stabilized and also to be able to keep a better eye on the unconscious boy, or, using his exact words, “to check for any unexpected developments”. Rin hadn’t grasped the exact meaning of that last sentence, but hadn’t paid much attention to it. He was already more than accustomed to the headmaster’s oddities. Knowing the demon, that phrase could mean nothing, and the madman could have chosen it only because he thought it was dramatic. Or it could mean everything, but no one would ever be able to understand exactly what.

‘ _How long will it take for the cake to be ready?_ ’ Kuro asked slowly waving his tails . ‘ _Watching it is making me hungry…_ ’

“Half hour, more or less,” the half-demon said with a smile. “Who’s the greedy one now, huh, Kuro? I just hope it’ll be good…”

‘ _It will be fantastic for sure. You made it, so it’s guaranteed!_ ’ The cat demon stated nodding. ‘ _But we have better not to eat it all today, or we’ll be sick!_ ’

“Of course. I made it for three or four people, so eating it all by ourselves won’t be the best thing…” Rin sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I know it’s silly, but I’m almost still hoping that Yukio will wake up today. It would be the best birthday gift I could ask for. But it’s just a daydream…”

‘ _Never say never, Rin. Maybe in his subconscious he knows that today is your birthday and, if his body allows him, he’ll wake up just to get you the gift you wish for. It happened in the past. People emerged from a coma on days that represented something special for them._ ’

The boy glanced at him doubtfully. “It sounds a bit weird to me. I think it was just a coincidence. And, even if it were true, who says that our is one of those cases? After all it’s just a birthday…” he muttered bitterly.

‘ _Just a birthday, you say? For Yukio you’re the most important person in the world and so everything about you is important. Don’t try to deny it_ ,’ Kuro scolded him, shaking his head at his friend’s feigned and false stubbornness. ‘ _And, even if you’d never admit it, not even under torture, you feel the same about him. We all have realized that you and your brother have a special bond, even if you do nothing but discuss all day!_ ’

At these words Rin’s face turned bright red. It was obvious that the demonic cat didn’t mean what had come into his mind, but his words had reminded him too much those that Mephisto had offered him, not without malice, that evening on the True Cross terrace. He mentally cursed the principal for the umpteenth time and cleared his throat, trying to compose himself. “If you say so…” He managed to say, turning away, embarrassed.

‘ _Are you alright, Rin?_ ’ the creature asked, looking at him carefully. ‘ _Your face is all red. And I can feel your embarrassment. Have I said something I shouldn’t have?_ ’

“No, no, Kuro, that’s not…I…I was just thinking…” The half-demon stuttered waving his hands in front of him. “It has nothing to do Yukio, don’t even think about it!”

‘ _Er, Rin, I wasn’t implying that whatever is embarrassing you had something to do with your brother. But apparently it does. What happened? Is it by chance the other thing that has been haunting you but that you refused to tell me?_ ’

The boy blushed even more, not knowing what he should say. He had put himself in troubles once again. And now? What could he tell to his friend? ‘Oh, no, no, Kuro, it’s nothing important. You see, Yukio and I kissed like lovers, something that brothers really shouldn’t do, and I suspect that he is in love with me! And what about me? Well, I don’t know, the thing is a just a bit illegal and morally wrong, but I cannot help thinking about that kiss over and over and about how beautiful Yukio’s eyes are!’ He thought sarcastically, imagining the cat demon’s shock if he had confessed to what was the real reason of his distress. That really wouldn’t do.

“Uh, Kuro, I don’t think…I’m not ready to talk about it,” he mumbled at last, trying to sound convincing. “It’s also about Yukio and so…We need to discuss it before. One day we’ll tell you, I promise, but just not now.” At the end of the sentence he realized that he was already regretting to have spoken those words. Not for what Kuro would have thought, it was almost impossible that his friend could guess what he and Yukio were hiding, but rather because to his own ears it had sounded as if it was something more than a single kiss.

‘ _As you wish, Rin. I’ll wait_ ,’ the creature agreed, shooting him a perplexed look. ‘ _But try not to make mess. I don’t know why but I have the impression that you yourself don’t know exactly what you’re hiding._ ’

The boy stood for a moment, struck by those words. Kuro had a point. He had admitted to himself that he didn’t know what to think about the whole situation. And, on one hand, he would have rather not to ever know. He opened his mouth to reply, but someone knocked on the front door, preventing him from starting his sentence.

With a relieved sigh, the half-demon got up and walked towards the entrance. It had to be one of his classmates who hadn’t been persuaded by his apology on the phone. He hadn’t yet told them what had happened to Yukio, he hadn’t felt like doing it. So he wouldn’t be surprised if at least one of them had come to find out what was going on. His friends could be really stubborn. He opened the door, getting ready to cough up some excuse to quickly send away the newcomer, but the words died in his throat as soon as he realized that the person in front of him was Mephisto. The latter offered him a seraphic but at the same time decidedly disturbing smile and waved a hand at him in greeting.

“Good morning, Rin ! ~ How are you feeling?” He exclaimed cheerfully, slipping inside without waiting to be invited. “Oh, there’s something smelling really good here! Are you cooking? I guess so, today is your special day after all! By the way, happy birthday.”

“Alright, thank you…What do you want?” Rin asked impatiently, throwing him a look that was anything but happy. That demon acted always as if he was in his own home, even when he knew that he was not a welcome guest. Besides, having him visiting their dorm was never a good sign. However he noticed that the other’s grin that time seemed not to have the usual tinge of evil it carried when the headmaster came to bring him bad news. A thought struck him, making his irritation immediately disappear. “Is it about Yukio? Are there any news? Has something happened? Has he…woken up?” He quickly inquired without even trying to hide the note of anxiety that pervaded his tone. He _did_ have every right to hope, didn’t?

“My goodness, what a sudden change of mood! All the stress of these days has made you lunatic!” The principal teased heading for the kitchen to take a look at the source of the scent, not bothering to answer his questions. “Seriously Rin, you should relax. I say this for your own good.”

“I was fine before you came along!” He retorted irritably, following him. “So? Talk, will you? You never show up without a good reason. I want an answer, you damned clown!”

“Rude as always, uh? You make me regret coming here. Calm down, will you? And relax, I’m not bringing bad news.” The smirk on the headmaster’s face took a genuinely amused turn. He remained silent for a moment, enjoying the view of the half-demon who, in spite of his irritation, couldn’t help hanging off his words, and then declared: “It seems that someone has decided that you must at all costs get your birthday gift in time. He must be really _crazy_ about you!”

Rin’s eyes widened and he had to lean against a chair, too shocked to even pay attention to the other’s mockery and to the insinuations. If that wasn’t just another of madman’s games, then his words meant exactly what Kuro had said just a little earlier. The nightmare was really over. He hardly had the strength to believe it. “Take me to him immediately,” he ordered peremptorily, grabbing his jacket and pulling Mephisto by the arm. “Kuro, can you take care of the cake while I’m gone? Yukio will eat his portion too!”

‘ _Don’t worry, Rin. I’ll take care of everything_ ,’ the demonic cat assured with a beaming smile. ‘ _What did I tell you? Come on, go to see Yukio!’_

The half-demon grinned back grateful and dragged the headmaster out of the room by force. The latter muttered something like “What manners!”, but was readily ignored and he eventually resigned himself to follow the boy who was almost trembling with impatience.

“Calm down, Rin. I understand that you’re anxious to see your brother, but I’d ask you to control yourself just before you end up destroying something because of your agitation,” he muttered pulling out of his pocket one of his special keys. “It’s my house after all. If it was a different place I wouldn’t care at all…”

Rin made a hasty gesture of assent. “Alright, alright, but hurry up,” he agreed, crossing his arms over his chest. “Or I’ll really end up destroying something.”

Mephisto shook his head and sighed theatrically, but he hurried as he was told. He didn’t want any other trouble. He had already been forced to write boring reports about what had happened to the team of exorcists to which Yukio belonged and he had no intention to fill out additional forms to claim compensation for eventual damages.

The door opened again, this time into the hall of the demon’s apartment. Normally Rin would have stopped to gape at huge and richly decorated room and to make some misplaced comment, but right them his mind was too busy to care about his surroundings. His host took him upstairs explaining that Yukio had been settled into the guest room and that Amaimon was taking care of him in that moment. Assuming that the green-haired demon knew how to take care of something or someone who was not himself.

“Amaimon…Thanks, but really, I don’t want it.” A familiar voice rang out in the corridor, the tone gentle but forced, and reached Rin’s ears along with the so much awaited confirmation that it was not a bad joke.

The half-demon froze for a moment on the spot, feeling a thousand emotions invade him. They had really returned him his twin. He quickly shook out of his stunned state and almost run until he reached the door. Yukio was sitting on a bed, the sheets wrapped around the legs. He was bare-chested and most of his breast and stomach was covered with thick white bandages, as well as his upper arms. Luckily, his face seemed not to have been touched by the flames and, expect for his hair being messy and the absence of his glasses, which lay forgotten on the night stand, he was the same as always. The young exorcist was arguing with Amaimon, who was crouched in front of him, and was trying in every way to force him to eat a lollipop.

“Come on, Aniue said that you need energy! And sugar is good for that!” The demon was saying with his usual flat tone, handing the sweet to the boy who kept on moving away. “Come on, little brother, stop being pesky.”

“I told you I’m not hungry, Amaimon! I’m fine!” The other protested pushing his hand away. “Thank you so much for all this attention, but I don’t need it.”

“What, are you afraid that it’s poisoned by any chance?” Amaimon asked suspiciously.

“No! Why would I ever think such a thing?! It’s just that…” Yukio began to explain exasperated, but was interrupted.

“I’ll show you that it’s not.” Amaimon looked at him almost defiantly, then put the lollipop in his mouth, taking care to suck it. “Are you happy? Do you think that I would have been stupid enough to try it in turn if it had been poisoned? Here! And now stop complaining!” He exclaimed with determination. “Eat.” And he unceremoniously forced the candy into the boy’s lips without giving him time to react.

The exorcist immediately blushed, but he didn’t dare to remove the lollipop from the mouth and simply tighten his fingers around the plastic stick, embarrassed. “Only you could do such a thing…” He sighed, shaking his head.

The demon looked at him questioningly. “Huh? Why, what’s wrong now?” He inquired.

“Sometimes I wonder how you can be a demon, Otouto,” Mephisto interjected incredulous, raising his eyes at his brother’s naivety, causing the two of them to turn towards the door. “You’re too… _candid_ at times.”

“But, Aniue, I did what you told me!” Amaimon protested a bit irritated. “What the hell! You always have something to say! What have I done time?”

“Nothing, Amaimon. But let’s discuss it somewhere else. Our host has a visitor. And we must give him a bit of privacy.”  The headmaster walked towards the bed and grabbed his sibling’s arm, dragging him out of the room without another word and closing the door behind him.

As soon as the two demons were gone, Yukio turned to look at his twin brother, a small flash lighting up his ocean blue eyes. Rin returned his gaze, still bewildered by the scene he had just witnessed, but he seemed to forget about it as soon as his irises sank in his brother’s ones. The shadow of impending death that had tormented him while Yukio was in a coma was gone and he had got his usual cockiness back. Now he was going to get back at that idiotic four-eyes for making him worried sick.


	8. Part VIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys!
> 
> Here it comes the last chapter of this story! It gets a little melodramatic, I know, but there's the happy ending after all!  
> I want to thank all my readers for being so patient with me. Sorry if it took so long! I hope you will enjoy this last part!
> 
> Thank you again!
> 
> *Disclaimer*: I don't own Ao no Exorcist or its characters!

“Rin…” The exorcist whispered. Then he looked away and sighed. “I think I owe you some explanation. Listen, Nii-san, I know you must be angry and…” He started to say, but he couldn’t finish the sentence because one moment later the eldest was on him and grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking him so hard that his not yet healed wounds screamed with pain.

“You don’t know _anything_ , damn it!” Rin growled angrily. “You don’t know what I went through in these fucking days, while you were away! I was left alone with a goddamn feeling that tormented me and with worry that was killing me! You are a selfish asshole! You weren’t protecting me! You were driving me crazy!”

“Nii-san, calm down! I did it for _you_!” He protested, trying to keep his voice calm and grabbing the other’s wrists, trying to break free from him, but in vain. His brother’s grip was iron, as if the half-demon feared that he would disappear if he had let go. That consideration made his chest ache. He had brought so much sorrow to his twin because of his decision, he was well aware of that fact, but he preferred to see him worried sick rather than watching him fall into their biological father’s clutches. “If I’d told you that I was going to fight Satan, what would you have done?”

“I would have come with you, for God’s sake! I wouldn’t certainly have let you go alone to meet that bastard!”

“That’s it. This is the reason why I haven’t said anything! I didn’t want you to get yourself killed. You’d have thrown yourself in the battle without thinking and it would have been the end. You know how strong Satan is, you have no chances against him.”

“Oh, and _you_ do instead? You think you’re so much stronger than me only because you have those damn exorcist qualifications? You should have refuse the mission! It was a suicide, a bloody _suicide_ , dammit!” The half-demon exploded, feeling his anger grow drastically. He couldn’t stand those arguments. He could never do anything, while the others were free to choose to do whatever came in their head, not matter how stupid and dangerous it was. It wasn’t fair. “Damn, Yukio, you’re the one who almost got killed! What the fuck did you think you were doing? He killed almost all your teammates and what did you do? You threw yourself in his arms!” He let his twin go and shook his head, laughing bitterly. “And who’s the reckless one now, brother? Who’s the one who messes everything up? It’s true, I’d have risked getting killed, but isn’t it exactly what has happened to _you_ , my dear genius? How do you justify this?”

“Risking my life is part of my _job_ , Nii-san. I couldn’t abandon the mission. It’s not a matter of pride or delusions of grandeur. It’s true, I _wanted_ to fight him, I wanted to teach a lesson to the creature that has ruined our life, and I wanted to do it for us both. But, contrary to what you think, I’m aware that I have no chance against him, and that maybe I’ll never have one,” Yukio said serious, fixing his cold stare in the eldest’s angry one, a note of frustration in his tone. “I’ve never claimed to be stronger than you, but I’m without doubt more objective and, above all, more _cautious_. This is the difference between us. I’ve learned how to calculate risks and to consciously decide to take them, you don’t even consider them. And that brings you to lose much more.” He sighed. “You’re right, I almost got killed. But I don’t regret my choice. I don’t want to back out, I want to fight by your side. But since you always try to stop me, I decided to act like you: go away without saying anything. Now can you understand how I feel when _you_ disappear and get into trouble, out of my reach? Do you _understand_ , Nii-san? “

Rin stood still for a moment, feeling the blow. It was true, he himself had acted as his brother had done that time, and more than once. But he was a demon and his body was not as fragile as a human one. Perhaps even Yukio’s didn’t posses the whole human vulnerability, but his twin surely didn’t have the demonic powers that allowed him to endure what he endured during battles. However, his brother seemed not to grasp that little detail. He could have all the experience and the training, but he was always a step below the demons because of his human nature.

“Yes, I understand. But it isn’t the same thing, Yukio. How is it that you don’t see it? You have been very _lucky_! Damn, you could have been burnt alive by those flames! You’ve managed to shoot that bastard two times, but at what cost? Get a look under those bandages! Those scars will remain forever, as witnesses of your fucking pride,” he growled, pointing the bandages that covered the other’s body. “Do you understand this, _little_ brother?”

The exorcist’s eyes hardened and he pulled back the blankets, getting up to be able to face the half-demon. “Yes, I understand, Nii-san. And I could say that I’m proud of them, I _can_ say that every time I’ll look in the mirror and I’ll see them I’ll remember that even I can do something for _our_ cause. I have fought and, although I had to pay a price, _I_ have won. And I’m ready to do it again countless other times if I need to. For myself, for you, for _our_ lives,” he stated coldly. “I don’t care if you disagree. If you can fight, I can do it too. And don’t use the being a demon thing with me, Rin. I know what you’re thinking.” He raised his hand to his chest and clenched his fists. “I’ve _felt_ those flames, but I wasn’t burned because in a certain way they are a part of me. Their feeling is not alien to me. Hostile, yes, but not alien. They can consume me as they consume you, but they cannot _kill_ me. Because if they did they would extinguish themselves.”

“You are making no sense, Yukio! Do you listen to yourself when you speak?! You don’t have a tail, or pointed ears, and you don’t catch fire, dammit!” His brother protested vigorously, shaking his head stubbornly. Some blue sparkle raced on his hair while he shook with anger and disbelief. Had the coma burnt his twin’s neurons? Or maybe it had been the demonic fire? It could be, since that idiot had ended up straight in the middle of it. Why the heck was he saying those things? He didn’t know what it meant to be wearing those damn signs, he could not know, could not understand the pain and loneliness that they meant. “You’re not like me! Stop this crap! You don’t understand! You cannot, so stop and…”

He didn’t have time to finish the sentence because he found himself pressed against the wall. Yukio pushed him back and now he was holding it against the cold surface. His eyes sparkled in a dangerous way he had never witness before. His irises seemed to be made of liquid _fire_. A shiver of uneasiness ran down Rin’s spine. He hadn’t even seen him moving. What the heck?!

“I don’t understand, Nii-san?” The exorcist whispered, far too calmly, but his tone vibrated threateningly. “I’m not like you? Maybe you are forgetting something…” He bent over until his mouth was almost pressed against the eldest’s ear, making him shiver again: “I’m your twin brother, Rin. I am Satan’s offspring too.” Then he moved away. “And that will never change, no matter what I look like physically. I am not human, Nii-san.” He raised his voice. “It doesn’t matter if people sometimes prefer to pretend that it’s not true, to pretend that I am like them, because in the end they refuse to really get close to me. It doesn’t matter if I don’t have your powers, if I do not have the flames on my head.” He tightened his grip on the other’s T-shirt. “Those flames are _inside_ me! I feel them, they are there, every moment of the day, at night, ready to remind me that sooner or later they will come out and take me too. And, when it happens, you’ll no longer be able to say that we aren’t the _same_ thing!”

He had yelled, throwing in his brother’s face everything he had kept inside since the day he had learnt the truth about them. He could feel his chest burn with frustration, mixing with the dull and throbbing pain of his injuries. It was time that Rin understood the state of things, or rather that he admitted it. Because he was more than sure that his brother already knew well what he was saying. They were both damned. “Keep it in mind! Because, even if you prefer to think of me as the weak _human_ brother, the one unable to understand how you feel, this doesn’t make me like that. I am a product of hell as mush as you are and as much as our real father is! You’re the one who doesn’t want to understand, Rin.”

Rin stared at him completely astonished, while his mind tried in vain to find some arguments with which he could deny the truth that he had so strenuously tried to ignore. It was easier to think that he was the only one, to blame the others because they cannot understand him. It was easier to think that he and he only was fated to fight with his double nature, it gave him a pretext to keep Yukio away from the dangers of his war. And yet, on the other hand, he couldn’t forget that the blood that flowed in their veins was the same, he couldn’t not understand that his attitude was unfair because it stripped his brother of the right to fight for their identity, while he allowed himself to do it. But he was the eldest, he had to protect his twin at any cost, even if it meant ruining their relationship. He had decided it the day after they had argued in the classroom, he had sworn to himself that he would have taken all necessary measures to keep the younger safe.

“No, no, no!” He cried out desperately, shaking his head and trying unsuccessfully to break free from his brother’s grip. “It’s not true! I…Damn, I cannot let you do that, and who cares if it’s the truth! I cannot lose you too, Yukio! You cannot ask me such a thing! This is a fight between demons and you’re not one, and who cares if you think otherwise! I believe in what I see, I don’t care about your absurd theories!”

The exorcist tightened his grip, crushing him even more against the wall, almost hurting him. “Then you leave me no choice, Nii-san. From now on I’ll behave exactly like I did this time, because I cannot lose you either, even if you in your selfishness can’t see it,” he stated harshly. He didn’t like having to treat Rin that way, to impose himself on him by force, maybe even pushing the eldest to hate him, but he couldn’t give up the task that had been entrusted to him. “Just as you don’t understand that being a demon doesn’t depend only on appearances or physical capabilities.”

That last sentence struck the half-demon, leaving him dumbfounded once again. It was the same thing Mephisto had said on the terrace of the hospital. How was it that everyone seemed to figure out things before him? And then what the heck did that damn phrase mean? The discussion was degenerating more and more. He had no way to stop it, because he knew he was wrong, but he couldn’t give in either, because it would mean allowing Yukio to get into even worse situations. Yet he couldn’t find a proper reply, he was stuck with his back to the wall, in every sense. He had to change the subject before they began to say hurtful things that they would surely regret but that would not be easy to erase. And he didn’t want to hear them from Yukio. He had never seen his twin so out of his mind, not even when he had accused him of being responsible for Shiro’s death. He could have sworn that the air around his brother was vibrating as it did when the weather was particularly hot. There was something wrong in the whole situation and he didn’t want to know what it was. He had to change the subject. _Immediately_.

“You kissed me. _Why_?” The words escaped from his lips before he had the time to think, against his will, catching them both off guard.

Most of the younger’s anger seemed to disappear at that question, replaced by a deep unease. “I don’t see what that has to do with our current discussion,” Yukio forced himself to say, trying to remain neutral, while a storm of mixed emotions began to stir inside him. What should he say? He was aware that sooner or later he would have to face the consequences of his actions, but he didn’t want to do it now, he was not ready.

“Nothing, but that’s not the point. I asked you a question and I think you owe me an explanation about that too, don’t you agree?” Rin insisted, his voice veiled by a dark note. He wasn’t really sure that he wanted to discuss that, but if he had to choose, he preferred this subject to the previous one. And maybe he would be able to finally remove the doubt that had tormented him for days.

Yukio frowned hearing his brother’s hostile tone, and he withdrew his hands, turning away, unable to meet his gaze. The answer to the question was obvious and he had no doubt that the other knew it too well. However, Rin could always give him the benefit of the doubt until he didn’t hear those words coming from his lips. But could he really risk saying it? And what if his twin hadn’t been able to accept what he felt? Should he lie, find an excuse? He honestly couldn’t come up with anything plausible and then denying the evidence wouldn’t have helped the situation. And yet he hadn’t the strength to confess those emotions, not now, not in that way.

“The answer seems pretty obvious to me, Nii-san,” he said after a moment of silence, keeping his eyes on the ground. “I don’t think that needs to be made explicit.”

“Instead it needs to, damn it!” The half-demon shot back with force. “Because it cannot be _that_! Yukio, please…” This time it was for him to grasp the twin shoulders, tightening his grip in an act of silent prayer. “Tell me it is not. It can’t. It’s too…wrong.” His voice trembled with uncertainty on the last word, but he tried the same underline it with a force that had not. “Yukio…”

“I might as well tell you, Nii-san, but I’d be lying. My words won’t change the state of things, so it’s useless for me to do it,” the exorcist stated, voice almost trembling but determined. “I don’t expect you to feel the same. I just wish you could accept my feelings because I can’t bear the mere thoughts of being rejected by you. This is the reason why I kept quiet for all these years, but now I can no longer remain silent.” He tried to overcome his fear and returned to sink his eyes in his brother’s, ignoring the look on the other’s face that seemed to shout at him not to speak those fateful words. With that kiss at the park he had passed the point of no return, so he might as well go all the way down. Perhaps his choice was made a bit out of selfishness too, but denying and waiting didn’t make sense anymore. He would face the consequences he had feared for so long. “I…I love you, Rin. I always had. Even if when we were kids I was still too inexperienced to understand what those emotions were. Even if, when I finally started to understand them, I rejected my feelings for the same reason you’re refusing them now. But then I was forced to deal and accept them as I had to learn to deal with the fact that I’m Satan’s son, although this doesn’t mean that I am completely at peace with myself.”

The older the twins drew back his hands, bringing them up to his face. “No, Yukio, don’t say these things, dammit! Stop it!” He groaned in disbelief. He didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know how to react. Reason told him to reject that statement, and to leave the room, but another part of him hesitated, preventing him from finding the strength to resist as he wanted. “Do you realize what you’re saying?! Damn, it goes against everything we’ve been taught! You cannot be serious, you can’t! It’s…it’s…an _abomination_! God! It’s absurd…”

That last sentence struck Yukio almost like a stab in the chest. He knew that it would end like this, that Rin would never be able to accept such a thing. It was too much, it was beyond the limit. But he couldn’t give him up so easily. “No, Nii-san, it is not!” He exclaimed almost with anguish, the urgency to explain, to help the other understanding driving his words. “I know it’s against all the values that we were taught, but I can’t control it!” He clenched his fists in frustration. “I won’t deny what I feel for you, ever! To hell with what people think. I can’t feel sorry for my feeling because there is absolutely nothing sinful in them, even if others may think so.” He reached out tentatively toward Rin’s face who was looking down. “Nii-san, please…”

“Please  _what_?” The latter interrupted, unable to restrain himself, slapping his hand away. “How can it not be a sin? You’re my _brother_. It’s absurd, it is undoubtedly wrong! How can you not see? It’s against nature!” He immediately regretted his words seeing the flash of pain and bitterness that was filled his twin’s eyes. But he couldn’t take them back, because he was right this time. Or maybe not?

“Do I disgust you, Rin?” The exorcist asked after a moment of silence, while a strange smile blossomed on the lips. “You must think I’m disgusting, as anyone else in your place would. And do you know what I say? I don’t care. No, I don’t care because I don’t feel guilt or contempt for myself because of my feelings. It must be another proof of the fact that I’m Satan’s offspring too. As you are a demon on the outside, I am one on the inside. Demons don’t have this kind of problems, you know? Family or not, it’s not important. They don’t even question blood ties and, to be honest, neither do I want or care to.”

“Yukio, don’t…Damn, you haven’t fully recovered yet. Perhaps the battle…” Rin tried desperate. He didn’t want to hear those things, they confused him even more, making his believes wavering. “There is no need to talk about it now, you’re still upset about…”

“About what, Nii-san? Stop talking, not even you believe in what you’re saying!” His brother interrupted, in a harsh tone. Then he stared at him intently. “Why?”

“Why what now?!”

“Why do you say that what I feel for you is wrong despite the purity of my feelings?”

The half-demon was taken aback by the question. The discussion was definitely taking a turn he didn’t like. He opened his mouth a few times, looking for words that were not there, the question pounding in his head. Why was it wrong? After all the kiss they had shared had tasted like everything but guilt, he had already admitted that. Then why? He realized all of a sudden that he didn’t know the answer, that his firm believes were based only on the values that had been imposed to him but that he didn’t really feel as his owns.

“It is a crime, a sin…I…” He stammered. “Damn, I don’t know why, alright? But it’s wrong and that’s it! I don’t want to have anything to do with this kind of things!”

“A sin? A  _sin_ , Nii-san? We’re Satan’s sons and you speak of sin? We’re already damned without any chance of redemption and you know that better than me. Sinning or not won’t change our fate.” Yukio almost laughed. How had they arrived to that point? It was all a facade, a role that they play to be able to live in that world they maybe didn’t even belong. “We have a goal, defeating the being who gave us life to stop him from haunting us and the people we care for, but I doubt that this will be enough to redeem us. Tell me that I make you sick and let’s close this argument here. Tell me that you don’t want me around anymore, chase me away, but stop hiding behind these excuses!”

“No, Yukio, damn it! Don’t put in my mouth things that I’ve never said or thought! You’re my brother, I can’t just push you away! ” Rin exclaimed, exaserated, raising his voice in turn. “Try to understand how I feel, since you think you’re so good at it! Do you really want me to tell you that you make me sick? Well, you make me  _sick_! Are you happy now? Now go on feeling sorry for yourself, you stupid four-eyes!”

“Do you really think I want to hear that I’m disgusting? Now you’re the one who don’t get what I’m asking! I just want the truth about what you think.”

“I alredy told you! This is so fucked up!”

“But why!”

“I have already answered to this. Stop it, damn it, you’re only hurting us both! You’re not yourself, Yukio!”

“I’m fine! It’s you who can’t think with  _your_  head! Rin, I can see very well that you don’t know why you are saying what you say! You’re only repeating some lesson in which perhaps you don’t even believe! We’re different from anyone else. Why should those rules apply to us?”

“They  _do_  apply to us! We’ve always lived in this world, so we have to follow its rules! What would Shiro think if he heard you now?”

“I think he’d understand! Maybe he’d need some time to accept the whole thing, but in the end he’d surely understand that we cannot adapt to a world that  _hates_  us! How can you do it, Nii-san? Would you give our bond up only to fit in this world? Would you give up your happiness?” Yukio took a step back, shaking his head. He couldn’t stand it anymore, he was about to explode. He felt tears stinging his eyes, but he tried in every way to hold them back. Why couldn’t Rin understand? He only wanted to be by his side and to love him in silence, without expecting anything in return. But his brother seemed to want him to deny his feelings too, and that was something he could not do. “Do it if you want, but I can’t and I won’t. For _God_ ’s sake, I’m not going to give you up just because humans think it’s wrong. I’m not going to give up for them one of the few reasons I have to put up with this  _fucking_  life!”

A heavy silence fell over the room while the tension that had invaded the air making it almost stormy froze suddenly. The young exorcist was panting, his anguished stare fixed on the half-demon who instead stared at him in disbelief, eyes wide.

“Yukio!” Rin exclaimed, shocked, forgetting his anger and seriousness of the speech all at once. “You  _swore_! And…you said a bad word!”

Yukio blushed, embarrassed, and looked away, feeling his anger fade at that misplaced commnet. “I have my breaking point too, Rin,” he muttered, feeling uncomfortable and turning around to go and to sit on the bed. “And living with you and hearing your  _dignified_  language every day does not help.”

“Don’t look for excuses! Watch your tongue, Yukio!” Rin exclaimed, enjoying the shocked look that the other gave him. Then he added with a half-amused grin: “I always wanted to say it, I couldn’t resist the temptation.”

“I hope you’re satisfied, Nii-san. You made me completely lose control over my words, congratulations,” the younger twin said sarcastically with a sigh. “You’re the first one who has managed it, you deserve a reward.”

The half-demon sighed in turn and approached the bed, dropping next to his brother. “I’m an idiot, OK? I overdid it…again,” he admitted sincerely repented. “You don’t make me sick, Yukio, you could never You’re my twin brother! And…” His face turned red as his tone became embarrassed. “And I don’t think that what you feel for me is so wrong. I mean, I don’t know…It should be, but when we’ve kissed at the park…I haven’t felt  _guilty_. It didn’t taste like sin, if you get what I mean. I’ve already been thinking about it while you were in a coma. I don’t know why I insisted on that. It’s just that…It’s not an easy thing to deal with.”

A smile opened on the exorcist’s face. “Of course I understand, Nii-san. It was hard for me and it still is. But I’m happy to hear that. And you don’t have to apologize. I attacked you too, I shouldn’t have been so harsh. Neither in this argument nor in the previous one,” he said reaching out to ruffle his twin’s hair slightly. “I left without considering how much I could hurt you. I’ve been a selfish, and I’m sorry, Nii-san. But I assure you I just wanted you to be safe.”

“Don’t be an idiot! I’m the one who attacked you, even physically. I must have hurt you, considering your conditions,” the other retorted, pushing his hand away, a bit annoyed but without malice. “Let’s say we’re even. You had your reasons, you just wanted to protect me as I wanted to protect you. But I’m stubborn even when I know how things are. I don’t want to admit the truth if I don’t like it. It’s not just you, we both are selfish idiots.”

“We are twins after all, aren’t we? It’s normal that, despite all our differences, we share the same vices,” Yukio agreed. Then he chuckled. “Damn, I’m admitting that I look like you! I must have really suffered quite a trauma.”

“Hey, what do you mean with that?” The elder protest laughing in turn.

Yukio couldn’t help thinking of how beautiful his brother was when he smiled so carefree. Almost instinctively he reached out for the other and gently touched his cheek with a hand. His fingers met and caressed the soft skin, letting its warmth run along his arm. He got lost savouring the nice feeling even if he could feel himself blush under the other’s inquiring gaze. He shouldn’t have done that kind of things without permission, especially now that the true meaning of his gestures had been made explicit, but the temptation was too strong.

Rin watched him for a moment and then he hesitantly put his hand on the top of his twin’s to keep it from leaving his skin, looking away while a slight blush spread on his face also. The young exorcist hesitated, not knowing how to interpret the act, but in the end decided to take advantage and grabbed the half-demon on both arms, pulling him. The eldest was taken aback and, before he could protest in any way, he found himself sitting in his brother’s lap, his legs around his waist and his arms around his neck, while Yukio held him close and had placed chin in the hollow of his shoulder. The soothing warmth of that embrace immediately made every remaining desire to resist fade away, replacing the cold that the concerns and the anxiety of the previous days had spread inside him.

“I missed you to death while I was away. In fact, I almost died,” the young exorcist joked speaking with a voice barely audible. “Anyway…Happy Birthday, Nii-san. I’m sorry, but I haven’t been able to organize a party or even buy you a present…”

“Idiot,” Rin addressed him, chuckling and leaning his head on his shoulder. “Happy birthday to you too, Yukio. For the party, Kuro and I cooked a new kind of cake. It looks good, but you’ll have to tell me if it is. And waking up today, you’ve given me the best gift that I could ever desire, four-eyes!” He drew back a bit to allow their eyes to meet. “I’m the one who hasn’t got you anything…”

“Well, if you really want to give me something, there’s a thing that you could do for me. Of course, only if you feel like,” Yukio hazarded slowly, letting his eyes move timidly on his brother’s lips. “I won’t force you in any way…”

The other flushed again realizing what he had in mind, but then smiled. “Since it’s our birthday I guess I can give you another go,” he replied with a mischievous odd note in his voice, leaning his forehead against his twin’s. Then he turned serious: “Yukio…I don’t know how I put up with this thing that you have feelings for me. I mean, I don’t find anything wrong in it, I told you before. But I’m confused about what I feel for you. Before that kiss I’ve never thought about you in that way, but after the idea has haunted me and I made some weird thoughts… nothing too inopportune obviously!” He cleared his throat nervously. “I want to give it a chance and to try to look at it forgetting the human parameters. And to hell the sinning thing and all the other stuff. I want to listen only to what I feel and try to understand.”

“Don’t worry, Nii-san. I told you, I won’t force you or hurry you. I can wait. Do what you feel,” the exorcist reassured him with a smile. Then he added, almost amused: “Do you want to look at it “forgetting the human parameters”? These aren’t your words, are they?”

Rin put on a vaguely irritated frown. “They aren’t. Mephisto told me that. The evening of the day you left I went to him to made him tell me what was going on, but of course he managed to confuse me with his unbearable babble,” he explained snorting. “I let out that sometimes you behave in an odd manner and that that morning you had done something you shouldn’t absolutely have done since you are my brother. He started to babble about the fact that I think according to human criteria about things that have nothing with human and that everyone has a “special and unique relationship with his own brother”, to use his words. That phrase sounded so bad! I hate it when he does that. Among other things, I didn’t understand if he was kidding or if he was serious. With his damned, perpetually arrogant face you never understand he thinks! He really gets on my nerves.”

“Don’t worry, Nii-san, we know him by now. And we have to deal with him. He did a lot for us, even though you wouldn’t admit it,” his brother tried to console him, holding back a laugh though. “I honestly don’t know if he was joking and I don’t want to know. These businesses concern him and his brother, don’t you agree? Just like now we should care only about our businesses. So stop thinking about him.” He went back running a finger along the edge of the half-demon’s cheekbone. “Are you sure you want to do it again?”

Rin nodded firmly. “Yes, absolutely,” he murmured looking up.

Their eyes met, as magnetized, sapphire wells that reflected in each other, blending together the slight differences in shades. The space that separated their faces was reduced progressively until their lips were brushing as their minds returned to that moment in the park a few days before. This time the contact lasted much longer because their mouths continued to look for each other, separating and then meeting again almost immediately, losing the initial hesitation and replacing it with a hungry desire for passion. No matter how much that contact became deep, the two never seemed to get enough of it, lying one in the other’s arms, shivers of pleasure running down slowly down their spine and gentle warmth filling their chest.

One of Yukio’s hands sank in Rin’s hair while the other’s fingers intertwined the latter’s one, their bodies as close as possible. The half-demon was lost in the sensation of hot intimacy that had engulfed him and that was dragging him deeper and deeper. After the initial uncertainty, a whirlwind of emotions had exploded inside him, in a surging chaos dancing and making him feel at the same time safe in the embrace of Yukio’s feelings and on the verge of falling into the dark abyss of the forbidden.

The exorcist, in his behalf, couldn’t believe what was happening. He had never even hoped that Rin could reciprocate his feelings, but he had only hoped that his twin could accept them. But in that moment he could feel him responding to his kisses and his touches, with a urgency equal to his own. The passion inside of him mingled with the exaltation and the adrenaline that the discovery had aroused in him, drowning him in a pleasurable exhilaration. They pulled away after several minutes, panting and completely flushed, but both with a smile on their lips.

“Uh…Wow,” Rin commented embarrassed, settling a bit better on his brother’s legs. “I think that saying that I could have a thing for you too doesn’t give the idea. It will be hard to explain this to Kuro, I’m afraid.”

“Can I consider it as a confession, Nii-san?” Yukio teased, toying with a lock of his hair, but his face still wore a bright smile. “Yeah, I think Kuro will realize soon that something has changed between us…And especially it would be very embarrassing to be caught red-handed in…unorthodox poses.”

“We’ll be careful!”

“Or we could find the most sensible way to explain him the matter. Although I’d rather keep it just for us at least for some time. What do you think?”

“I agree. I want to enjoy your closeness for a while before sharing the news with someone else.” The half-demon planted a kiss on his lips provocatively. “And besides it’s more fun doing things secretly…”

Yukio nodded and kissed him back, lacing his fingers with the other. “By the way, didn’t you say that you have prepared a cake for our birthday?” He asked. “I’m eager to try this new wonder of yours! I’m allowed to go home, Amaimon told me before. They were just waiting for me to wake up to send me back to the dorm.”

“Yes, of course. The cake it’s just waiting for us. But it will be there even if we wait five more minutes…” The elder answered with a grin, leaning forward to invite his brother to close once again the space that separated them. And of course the other did not wait.

Outside the door, Amaimon pulled away from the wall against which he had been standing, turning his gaze towards his older brother. “They took their time with that argument,” he said atone pulling out another lollipop from one of his pockets and unwrapping it. “But it ended well as you said, Aniue.”

“I’m rarely wrong, Amaimon, you should know by now. Come on, let’s go. I don’t want the Okumura to find out that we are eavesdropping. Rin might have some overreaction as usual and besides those two deserve a bit of privacy now. I got what I wanted to know, so we have no more reason to stay,” Mephisto claimed, walking away and gesturing the other demon to follow him. “Moreover, it seems that I was able to teach something that hothead. For once Rin listened to me. It’s a great step forward for him.”

“What are you talking about?” Amaimon asked, tilting his head to one side and joining him.

The headmaster gave him a strange smile and rested an arm around his shoulders. “Our brother has finally decided to try looking at the world through not human parameters,” he said knowingly, while the grin on his face widened. “I wonder if this will turn out to be useful in a not too distant future…For him and especially for Yukio.”


End file.
